It seems as though I’ve only just remembered that I was going to re-read the stuff I have on the funding that I can apply for but methinks I might run this whole idea by Mike and see what he thinks, why I hear you ask? Because I can. Also, I’ve written another 2 shorts based on what I saying yesterday, so I hope you enjoy them as much I have enjoyed writing them.
3; Pride
To all the prideful,
First and foremost I would recommend that you step away from the mirror, you never know when it might crack under the sight of your own vanity.
You are so blind to it, you were that make-up in layers and layers just to catch someones eye but who are really trying to please, yourself or them?
I the undersigned have watched you from the other side of the mirror and I have found no pity or even sympathy for you mainly because your vanity will not allow you to see past your own nose.
In vain you try to impress, in vain you try harder to stand out from the crowd but it only makes you look like fool when you stand alone playing with your hair.
You spend countless hours in front of that golden mirror as though it were speaking to you but I’ve got one thing to reply to the aged old question, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the vainest of them all?” but I highly doubt you will like the answer to that question.
I the undersigned have been noted for vanity but your surpasses even that as you smack your red lips together like a fish again fuelling you vanity and your ego.
I will not waste my time by telling you to repent because its clearly wasted but I will inform you that if by some small fortune you end up in Purgatory, you will be broken upon a wheel, sounds pleasant doesn’t it?
All I ask is that for one moment you put your pride and your vanity aside to make a difference but I know all too well that you will continuously stroke your ego with this mindless vanity.
Signed
Lucifer
4; Gluttony
To the gluttons,
Once you have finished gorging yourself upon your fifth packet of crisps I will continue but it doesn’t seem likely that you will hear me over the savage munching as you continue to devour, so I will begin anyway.
I the undersigned have come the conclusion that you have much in common with sloth but your different but still just as disgusting, I mean, have you looked at yourself lately?
Your shirt is stained with grease and red tomato sauce, your trouser’s are barely concealing your backside and it looks as though they are fit too burst under the weight of your gigantic belly.
Beer cans lye discarded on the floor which is covered in food that missed your giant mouth, the carpet now lye’s under the decay of rotting waste and cockroaches are becoming more and more into your abode.
You haven’t cleaned, bathed or even shaved in days, maybe even weeks because you no longer have the energy to carry your weight around from place to place.
I the undersigned feel no pity when those stares are directed at you, I can’t even you sympathy, for you are destroying your health but you never did care what the doctors said, did you?
You will feel right at home here in Hell beside the fat gluttons or the worms, maybe Cerberus might have other plans for you in the circle of Gluttony but know this my gluttonous friend.
If you start to change and see sense beyond that growing stomach of yours, in Purgatory you will be forced to eat rats, toads and snakes when in Hell you will only gorge upon yourself.
So devour on my chubby friend but seek me not when you realise its too late to repent and its too late to devour that last packet of crisps.
Signed
Lucifer
Oh, while I remember, I should point out that Minos is the judge of the damned in the Inferno and Cerberus is giant ugly three headed worm (read The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri and you’ll understand).
On a different note; my old blog has reached 2180 page views and this blog has reached 6138 page views (methinks there has been a lot of traffic here)
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