The sea,
Calming,
Blue,
Daunting,
Unmeasurable,
I find myself,
Drawn,
To its vastness,
To the deepness,
That no man,
Or machine can reach,
I come here,
In the mornings,
When the Sun,
Is touching the horizon,
It’s beautiful,
Peaceful,
Yet,
My mind,
Is the complete opposite,
I worry,
Excessively,
About small things,
That then turn,
To larger things,
And the waves in my mind,
Grow larger,
And larger,
I’m self-conscious,
As I watch the sea,
Swaying,
Back and forth,
In a hypnotic motion,
I feel everyone stares,
At me,
Making jokes behind my back,
About my body image,
I’ve always been slim legged,
But when you get called names,
You start to wonder,
If there is anything,
You can do,
To make them stop,
I fear,
That one day,
Someone,
Will say something,
That will cause me,
To throw myself,
Far into the deep blue sea,
My stomach can be in knots,
When I’m out and about,
I feel tense,
Even stressed a little,
My mind wonders,
To negative,
Thoughts,
To possibilities,
That will never come true,
But the question,
What if,
Comes up,
Time and time again,
I never have an answer,
I let the blue waves,
Roll over and over,
Crashing down,
On me with full force,
I try to fight back,
Sometimes,
I win,
Others,
I lose,
I don’t sleep much,
Due to my thoughts,
Popping up,
When I don’t want them there,
I watch the sea,
Again,
Wishing,
My mind knew,
Peace,
Wishing,
Someday,
The blue vial,
Will shift,
And I will get to enjoy,
Being out with friends more,
And be able to relax,
Instead of fearing,
The worst,
One day,
Someday,
I will win,
My fight,
Against the raging,
Sea of my mind
Heather's Blog 