Olive (Body Dysmorphia)

I awoke,

The olive,

Mask,

Already,

There,

I’m unaware,

At first,

Until,

I glimpse,

At myself,

In the mirror,

The image,

Is distorted,

My stomach,

Looks fat,

My thighs,

Look bigger,

My hips,

Look,

Like the belong,

To another person,

I turn away,

Ashamed,

Of my image,

Disgusted,

With,

The body,

I live in,

I cry,

A thousand tears,

And I fall,

Down,

To the floor,

I glimpse,

Again,

Into the mirror,

Hoping,

The image,

Has changed,

But it’s only,

Gotten worse,

I pick myself,

Up from,

The floor,

I get ready,

For today,

I groom my hair,

Lovingly,

Make it perfect,

I wipe the tears,

And apply,

Make-up,

To conceal,

The puffy,

Redness,

I’m ready,

To head out,

I can’t help,

That all these,

People,

Are looking at me,

But I’m the one,

Looking at them,

Wishing I was different,

Wishing I could change,

When,

It gets too much,

I isolate,

Myself,

And prick,

At my skin,

So,

It’s smooth,

This olive mask,

Makes me,

Aware,

Sensitive even,

To every part,

Of my body,

This mask,

Makes me believe,

That no matter,

How many people,

Tell me,

I’m beautiful,

And no matter,

How hard,

I try to believe,

It,

It’s all wrong,

There is therapy,

For me,

I may have to wait,

Until,

All the assessments,

Are done,

I desperately,

Want to shed,

This mask,

But for now,

It feels,

Like it’s part,

Of my body,

And my mind