Maroon (Male Post-Natal Depression)

At first,

I was afraid,

To touch,

Mummy’s bump,

In case,

I hurt you,

In your cocoon,

But,

I got used it,

Now,

You’re here,

My precious,

Little boy,

I am,

You’re daddy,

Despite,

The smile,

On my lips,

I feel,

As though,

I wading,

In a maroon,

Syrup,

Each step,

I take,

Cautiously,

In case,

I drop you,

Or handle you,

The wrong way,

It’s normal,

To be anxious,

Like this,

I’ve never,

Been one,

For looking after,

Younger children,

But today,

I will start,

Afresh,

It will get,

Easier,

Over time,

They say,

I’ll get more,

Confident,

But I don’t,

The maroon syrup,

Drags,

Me further,

And deeper,

Than before,

I feel useless,

Because,

Mummy,

Does everything better,

Than me,

I love you dearly,

Though,

Because,

I worry,

I’ve had sleepless nights,

I still can’t believe,

You’re here sometimes,

You’re growing,

In ways,

I don’t understand,

You’re changing,

Into a little person,

I find it difficult,

To keep up,

With you,

I thought,

Wrong things,

And said worse,

Things,

I regret both,

I always say sorry,

But the heartache,

Is still there,

I’ve been giving,

The option,

Of tablets,

And they seem

To help,

But I find myself,

Drowsy,

I blink,

And you’ve changed again,

My wonderful,

Boy,

I’m fighting,

Through,

This maroon,

Syrup,

To be the best dad,

You could ask for,

Will bring,

A little sunshine,

To this place,

And guide me,

To happier times