Red-Violet (Depresonalization Disorder)

My condition,

Is often,

Mistaken,

For,

Psychosis,

But,

It’s more,

Like,

Looking,

In a mirror,

And finding,

Emptiness,

The red-violet,

Shell,

Distorts,

Everything around me,

I feel,

Like,

My feelings,

Belong,

To someone else,

Yet,

They,

Exist in my body,

And mind,

I feel disconnected,

From those around me,

And even,

The world,

Around me,

I feel,

In a dream,

Like place,

Were time,

Keeps passing by,

But,

I’m not there,

In that moment,

I sometimes,

Get over anxious,

When,

The red-violet,

Shell,

Starts to break,

Revealing,

The cracks,

Underneath,

I feel,

Like,

I’m losing,

Control,

Of my mind,

And body,

I want,

To crawl,

Away,

And be alone,

So,

No-one,

Can watch,

Me suffer,

That’s when,

The depression,

Sets in,

So,

Strong,

And fierce,

I can’t escape it,

I managed,

To tear myself,

Away,

For a while,

From the red-violet,

Shell,

To go to the GP,

They said,

To try,

The medication,

First,

And if it doesn’t help,

Or makes things,

Worse,

I’ll be put on,

The waiting list,

For therapy,

I hope,

Both help,

So,

It will reduce,

The panic attacks,

And maybe,

Restore,

Me back,

To whatever,

I was before,

The red-violet,

Shell,

Became my,

Heaven,

And my Hell