What you see

What you see,
Is erratic,
Behaviour,
Uncontrollable,
Emotions,
You see me,
As a child,
Having a tantrum,
When you don’t see,
The triggers,
That led to this,
You don’t want to listen,
As I make my voice,
Heard,
In a way,
I can’t control,
Because,
You triggered this,
Response,
You tipped the scales,
I’m already struggling,
With my emotions,
You can’t argue,
That you,
Wouldn’t react the same,
But I forget,
I’m supposed,
To be calm,
Composed,
Unfeeling,
Unbothered by triggers,
I’m just supposed,
To let you walk over me,
Like a doormat,
I’m just supposed to keep,
My feelings silent,
I’m supposed to be perfect,
I’m supposed to live,
In your world,
Of delusions,
I physically can’t help,
How I respond to stress,
To pressure,
To being treated like nothing,
To being talked down to,
To not being good enough,
For you,
Or anyone,
I constantly fail,
I will never be rid of you,
So feel free,
Feel free to judge me,
Based on my erratic nature,
My passionate emotions,
Feel free to come back,
To hold judgement over me,
Because you made it clear,
I will never be free from your,
And I hate it,
I feel like I’m chocking,
So ahead,
Undo the progress I’ve made,
In realising I’m a good parent,
That I’ve done enough,
Go ahead and tell me,
I’m unstable,
I’m too erratic,
Explosive,
Because I no longer care,
This is my life,
This is my BPD,
But you refuse to see,
So continue down your,
Path of blindness,
Of ignorance,
I can’t change,
What I am,
I can’t change,
How I react,
Your refusal to accept that,
Only makes it worse,
So stay blind,
Continue to see,
The surface,
But you won’t like,
The beast underneath