The title reflects the torment of worry in my mind but I’m trying my best not to succumb to the demon’s but that is a different story. Anyway; the writing club was good and I’ve got any idea for a Screwtape latter, thanks to John for giving me the inspiration for that but methinks I will write it out first and go from there. For now; I will leave you with a general note; my old blog has reached 2,421 page views and this blog has reached 9,452 page views (there has been traffic on this blog).

As I sit and wait for my Ipod to charge, I reflect on today’s events. At the work programme it was really busy and I was made to sit at the computer’s at the front which in short means I still have no answer to my question, so I did my job search and printed out a CV when there should have been five, where the other four went, I’ve no idea. So in short, I think what speculative session two is just basically what I’m doing just now, well, that’s my assumption anyway. I’m back in on Friday to attend a workshop which I know little about and I certainly didn’t ask for it but if it’s going to help me find a job then I don’t see the harm in attending but that’s a different story. For now; I will leave you with the poem I’ve written for tomorrow.

What is Happiness?

Some say,
It’s cuddling up to a warm fire,
And watching the TV,
Some say,
It’s having that,
Hot toddy,
To warm the cockles of your heart,
On a winter’s night,
Some say,
It comes from reading a good book,
Or a story,
Some say,
It’s fostering a child,
Or adopting an animal,
Some might even say,
It’s the simplest things,
In life,
Things that you do,
That make you happy,
To me,
Happiness,
Is that warm feeling,
I have in my chest,
Every time,
I see the man I love,
Happiness,
Is spending every last moment,
With him,
By my side,
Happiness,
Is when I embrace him.
And feel those little butterflies,
In my stomach,
Happiness,
Is what will spur us forward,
It is something we will share,
As we are untied,
In love,
And those days,
We wake up together,
As man and wife,
Embracing,
Happiness,
Like an old friend,
Happiness,
Is something,
That can be found,
Happiness,
Is the light against the dark world,
Happiness,
Is doing the things you love most,
And being with the person,
That you love,
That is what happiness is.

On another note; my old blog has reached 2,421 page views and this blog has reached 9,438 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for visiting both blogs.

As I try to work through my own thoughts, I struggle to find the right words to type on this blog so it will come to no surprise to you nice people if I cut this post short. On a different note; yesterday with Mike was really great although I miss his tender embrace. On a side note; back to the work programme tomorrow and I hope that someone give me some answers. On another note; my old blog has reached 2,421 page views and this blog has reached 9,420 page views (there has been traffic flow on both blogs).

“I can hear the demon’s swirling in my mind, I can feel them pushing their way forward, I can feel the darkness closing in but I stand defiant against these foes and yet, I feel lost. These thoughts arrived yesterday without warring and now as I ascend to Paradise, I feel like I’ve lost my way or some part of myself. It the demons that are making me feel like this when all I want to feel is happiness and the warmth of you tender embrace. I yearn for Paradise yet it feel like something is stopping me from truly feeling happy but I smile because I get to see you my sweet prince. However, something has sunk into my skin that I’m not aware of, it’s embedded itself there, waiting for the right moment and I worry now as I think upon tomorrow if it will strike. In the morning, this feeling will fade away, this embedded darkness will be no more and I can feel like myself again, tomorrow I will be truly happy as I lye in your tender embrace, tomorrow I will be free from my own shadow, tomorrow, my sweet prince, I will lay my demon’s”~ random thought

“I think to myself as I wonder alone in the vast plains between the labyrinth below and the pale white skies of Paradise above me if the Minotaur is dead or it’s consulting with its master, I hold onto to the hope that the latter option isn’t true because sooner or later the Hydra will find a new torture for the Minotaur to inflict but none that is of relevance as I wonder these plains of Limbo. I’m a little closer to Paradise now but it still seems there is a long way to go but in the distance I can see those golden gates, I see the angels going in and out on business, I can sense that your in there amongst those clouds thinking of me. Thinking of those moments we will share tomorrow, thinking of our future together in Paradise, thinking of holding me in your tender arms and never letting me go. Tomorrow, I will not need to be nervous as I will have you by my side, tomorrow everything will perfect. For now, I smile to myself as I think of you my sweet prince”~ random thought

“Once again I don’t fear the Minotaur as it cower’s in the darkness, it will not rule over me, I will not succumb to the darkness again, I will fight for my freedom but today I don’t need to fight, I only need to fly. Fly far away from the labyrinth, fly into the distance where you await with open arms, fly into Paradise and let the wind catch my hair in a dance of golden blonde swirls. Tomorrow, we will have more talk of our wedding day, tomorrow we shall dance in the white halls of Paradise”~ random thought

As the title suggests, I am lost within my own quandary of thoughts and I can’t seem to focus on what I was meant to be doing but sufficed to say, despite this state of mind I have managed to make it here on my blog and I will share something with you. A while back, I signed up for email alerts that would be provided by the DWP and obviously I thought that by now I should have heard something, alas, it seems as though it has done nothing for me, I’ve not even received one email about any work placements or recruitment events, etc, etc. So where is the point in having something provided by the government of work when it doesn’t inform you of any jobs? Is there so little jobs now that people are having to flee their home in search of work? Has the recession finally taken more victims? Forgive my political views but I can’t stand it any more. Since the first day I walked into the dole, the system has failed me and countless other’s, instead of help we receive silence and they wonder why the people have such an issue with them. Well, maybe if dole listened to the people’s problem’s then they might get somewhere. I can’t stand sitting here any more, that’s why I am creating my own way out, that’s why I am so determined to become an author. On a less ranting note; my old blog has reached 2,418 page views and this blog has reached 9,289 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.

I am feeling rather optimistic at the outlook for my ambitions and dreams, which is a first but I really hope that this trend continues because it’s rather infectious. The reason for this outlook is mainly because of my recent post in my old blog which you can read and see for yourself; http://heatherpollock98.blogspot.co.uk/. Now, methinks I will take a rest as my eye’s are stinging just a touch. On another note; my old blog has reached 2,416 page views and this blog has reached 9,274 page views (there has been a jump in traffic flow on my old blog).

The writing club was a very much the same as when we broke of for the festive season and I was thoroughly surprised by the fact that they liked my short story, I wasn’t entirely sure if they would enjoy it but never mind. Now, I can enjoy get back into the routine of going out on a Tuesday afternoon to the writing club and I think I may wait to see if John eventually write’s his Screwtape letter because I’m all out of inspiration. On another note; my old blog has reached 2,408 page views and this blog has reached 9,620 page views (there has been a jump in traffic on this blog).

I’ve finally written my story for the writing group and you can now view it on my wordpress page if you like;https://heatherpollock92.wordpress.com/2015/01/05/a-story-to-pass-the-time/. I think it’s rather good but I suppose I’m biased towards my own work. I’m going to copy it, save it to my USB and then print it off for tomorrow because the writing club is back on. On a side note; my old blog has reached 2,408 page views and this blog has reached 9,245 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for continuing to visit both blogs.