Unfortunately I’ve not much to comment on this post as I’m still waiting to hear back from the manager at the business gateway although I would imagine that she is still going through all the paper work to find area’s that I might need help upon and to be honest I could think of a few but that is a different story. On a side note; I just had a thought it seems strange now that the dole no longer ask me about setting up my own business, instead they just ask how I am and that seems to be the end of the story, hence why I’m not looking forward to seeing them tomorrow. On another note; my old blog has reached 2208 page views and this blog has reached 6370 page views (there has been a lot of traffic here).

It seems I have lost all knowledge of words or rather words that I can use to describe yesterday with Mike which kind of presents a problem when it comes to writing a note but all you really need to know is that I love him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2206 page views and this blog has reached 6357 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for continuing to visit both blogs.

“The labyrinth now seems a lot quieter, more calmer now the Minotaur has stopped gawping wide-eyed at the amount of blood it has lost, mere scratches compared to the mental damage it caused for me, it will heal soon enough but why does the Minotaur bleed? There are no thorns or barbed wire in these vast stone walls, often the Minotaur likes a challenge of shadows and knifes, the knife may be small but it can still cut deep in to the Minotaur’s flesh, it will rest now in the stone walls, preparing for its next battle, I will not loose again to doubt and disbelief, I strive for higher things and one of which seems so close now, I can touch it with my fingers but its still out of reach so I can’t get a hold of the white clouds above but you reach down from the Heaven’s above with a tender smile and welcome me back into the embrace of Paradise, I have missed you a lot my sweet prince and I miss Paradise, it won’t be long till I reside here in these wall permanently but now it seems like a distant dream but when the Sun rises tomorrow, smile and think of me lying in the comfort of your tender embrace”~ random thought

Well first of I will apologise for my somewhat ‘depressed’ mood yesterday as I was back in the habit of doubting my ability and my work but never mind, as you all know I was at the business gateway learning about what funding I could possibly obtain and I’ve learnt a lot handy things but I’ve still got bits and pieces to do like writing out my business plan and probably asking a few complicated question but nonetheless it has certainly opened up my options a little bit farther. However, I’m now contemplating on hiring an editor to go through all 32 chapters and all 27,006 words of Reach so that I can go back to the literary consultant with more confidence than I have right now despite the fact that even if I go down this route I will probably receive a few red felt tip pen marks. I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place. Suffice to say though, I’m in a much better mood and I’m not looking forward to Triage tomorrow. On another note; my old blog has reached 2204 page views and this blog has reached 6322 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for continuing to visit both blogs.

Excuse the random gibberish of this blog but it comes more in the form of a random thought than actually text and for that I can only apologise.

“As the paper is torn with the blood stained pen, a light shines through but that light only shows a deeper and more disturbing darkness, the writer has finally realised their mistake and discarded the page to write again but it keeps tearing under the bloody pen that has no soul, no life left in it, is the writer dead? Have they no feeling left as the pen continues to tear away at the pages? Has the writer gone into a deep unsettling madness or have they become decayed? The writer is not aware as they throw these pages aside, they are not dead but feel like corpse tossed aside in heap among the others. The writer’s dream has left them even deserted them upon this mountain of the dead. The pen falls through the mainly torn pages and the writers blood follows with it. It is not rejection that has made the writer cast down their pen but a different enemy, one the writer didn’t intend to face alone and afford. What will become of the writer with a dead weight dream? What will become of the corpses surrounding them? What will become of the others that trend the very same path? The writer hasn’t given up but feels nonetheless empty inside, numb and isolated as they lay dying. The pages torn are now scattered in the wind, pages that reveal the writer’s story, the writer’s dream and their ambitions, now they all lye dead in this bitter pile of decay and chaos. Will the writer be saved? Can the writer save themselves? That is the question”~random thought

My old blog has reached 2203 page views and this blog has reached 6300 page views.

Not sure what I mean by that title but methinks it reflects on my blogs as I finally got back to posting something there despite the fact it has been a while and I must admit I do miss writing bits and pieces on that blog but saying its strictly for the business part of my life I suppose I find it hard to comment on or even write posts there. However, on another subject, it seems my nerves won again at the writing club as I spoke too fast despite the fact I was getting better but I’m going to keep pushing until the nerves disappear (well, that’s the dream anyway). On a side note; my old blog has reached 2197 page views (there has been traffic since I put that post up) and this blog has reached 6289 page views.

I will explain the title of this post in just a moment because believe you me you might need to take a couple of steps away from your computer or laptop screen. In the meantime, Friday with Mike was really awesome but for some reason in my head it felt as though I kept looking over my shoulder at the time but I enjoyed going to the cinema with his handsome sexiness and Saturday with Mike was amazing and I don’t think I’ve laughed so much in my entire life, I love him so damn much. Back to the title, I received on email on Friday but I just read it today from The Prince’s Trust inviting me up to Glenrothes for an sort of informal session on funding, it’s only going to be an hour long but it will certainly widen my knowledge but the reason why this is so important is because it was sent by the MANAGER of that office, I certainly feel as though I’m moving up in the world, so I accepted the invite for Thursday the 29th with a slightly nervous hand. On another note; my old blog has reached 2189 page views (a little bit of traffic there) and this blog has reached 6263 page views.

“The labyrinth still seems peaceful as the Minotaur sleeps in a pool of blood that now stains the hard cold stone floor beneath its feet but I remain happy and filled of joy, I have learnt something about my own determination to escape from this endless wasteland, I am determined now more than ever not to let the Minotaur win this war, so I escape now from this empty threshold towards the white clouds of endless of Paradise where you wait in silence and I can’t wait to be within your tender embrace tomorrow and on Saturday, so smile now my sweet prince and think of tomorrow”~ random thought

I couldn’t really think of anything else to put as the title for this post but to be honest it seems rather fitting as I have finally read through my paperwork on the Prince’s Trust but I have found a problem, the money they offer is more of a loan and considering the fact that I’ve never had a loan in my life, I’m not entirely sure how it works, the only thing I do know is that it ifs anything like SAAS at college (which I never had personally) then its going to be forever and an age before I am able to pay them back for the advice and help that they offer also. I would say it puts me off applying for funding so I can a literary consultant but there is no way on Heaven or in Earth I will be in a position to pay £400 off my own back. Which brings me onto the subject of this trial, I’ve still not learnt the script which needs quite a bit tip-exx and rewording methinks and to be perfectly honest, I can only try my best and make my decision later. I really don’t want to go into somewhere I’m not going to enjoy, I’d rather write for a living and get some satisfaction that the vast audience out there enjoys reading my work. In the end, only one person can make this some what monstrous decision; me. To be frank; I’m just glad I have an amazing fiance to stand by me no matter what I decide to do. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2188 page views and this blog has reached 6232 page views (there has been a lot of traffic here).

Well sufficed to say I have sorted out my CV and I’ve now got a script to remember as I have trail on Wednesday, doesn’t seem so bad but trust me, I’m a stickler when it comes to learning scripts, the down side to this trial is the fact that it is going to last 3 hours, yes you heard me right, 3 hours of nothing but talking to people on the other end of phone, sounds easy but when you have nerves like jelly its ten times harder. Anyway, I’ve finally written the rest of my shorts and I will put them here, sadly that means I’ve finished my goal of writing the 7 letters for the 7 sins but I really hope you have enjoyed reading them.

5; Envy

To the jealous,
               I the undersigned must confess my own jealousy to those that reign in Paradise but I will not dwell upon my sins which seem inferior to yours, even now I can hear your whispers of jealousy.

You have strived for so long to be perfect but unlike Pride, you continued to improve by wearing a tighter dress or a even shorter skirt but it is all for nothing.

As you still look upon those glossy magazine covers wishing you could become like those mindless models, you still look at those women who pass you by thinking that your more beautiful and yet all those stares are directed are her and not you.

Your jealousy colours you with a vibrant green and everyone can see behind those vast insecurities to reveal a worse problem, your jealous of everything and everyone that you ever meet or see.

Can’t you see beyond this green haze of envy? Can you see nothing but an image of how you want to be? I the undersigned would show you some sympathy but there is little of that left to give.

Pity and sympathy come too late for you as you stare on in envy at those around you, you can barely trust your closest friend let alone yourself because of your envy and your selfishness.

There is no home for you here in Hell so I the undersigned would advice you to repent now so you can join the rest of the envious in Purgatory where you will be placed in freezing water to cool off your jealous heart.

Maybe its too late to repent as your jealousy continues to consume you and makes you blind to the world and I feel no sympathy for you now.