I am really hoping my series of bad luck with interviews continues on for today and I know that sounds really strange for someone that really needs a job but I really can’t put into words the amount of fear, panic and anxiety that has gone into this decision, I’m not entirely happy with it but I suppose its a start however for now I will reflect on what Mike said to me yesterday when I phoned him, I could always get a better job if this falls through and to be honest he has a point, *sigh* what am I going to do with that man? 😉 On a more serious note; my old blog has reached 2188 page views and this blog has reached 6194 page views (methinks there has been traffic here).

Well sufficed to say I’m taking a rest from physio as methinks its about time I got round to reading my paperwork but that’s a different story, although speaking of paperwork I now need to fix my CV not that its important for my interview but I really need to improve it anyway. Anyway, back to the main point, yesterday with Mike was AMAZING and right now I wish I could relive those moments instead of the dread filled paranoia or whatever it is that is haunting me at this current moment in time. On a side note; it seems my old blog has gained a follower, so a big welcome to that nice person and I hope you enjoy reading my blog. On another note; my old blog has reached 2188 page views (it seems there has been traffic there) and this blog has reached 6182 page views.

“Decayed and rotting the Minotaur now lye’s at my feet, defeated by my own hand, I will not listen anymore to the foul beast but I will let it suffer in the labyrinth not from anger or any bitterness but because the Minotaur needs to see what torments it lays upon my weary head, I feel some pity towards the beast as its cold vibrant red blood stains the floor of the labyrinth, do I help the beast? Or do I seek freedom? Freedom seems the obvious choice but I feel sorry the best but I can’t return to its foul domain, so I leave the beast to lick its own wounds for it will heal quickly and I best be heading back towards Paradise before its unleashes its true anger upon me. I may have conquered the Minotaur this time but for certain it won’t happen again but for now I cam content floating upon this cloud of happiness as I think of you my dear sweet prince, I have certainly missed your tender embrace and now more than ever do I need you tender and caring words, wait for me my dear in the arms of Paradise, wait for me when the dawn of new day arises, wait for tomorrow and smile”~ random thought

Unfortunately time seems to be against me so I will apologise for the briefness of this post but soon I will be needing to get ready for the Fife Writer’s event which starts at 7:45 and will end at 9:45 I’m looking forward to it I must admit but my nerves are starting to kick in but so far I’m doing well. However, I was going to write some more of those letters I’ve been writing but methinks I will leave it for another day because knowing my luck Triage is going to be Hell tomorrow. On another note; my old blog has reached 2182 page views and this blog has reached 6149 page views (might as well say 6150)

It seems as though I’ve only just remembered that I was going to re-read the stuff I have on the funding that I can apply for but methinks I might run this whole idea by Mike and see what he thinks, why I hear you ask? Because I can. Also, I’ve written another 2 shorts based on what I saying yesterday, so I hope you enjoy them as much I have enjoyed writing them.

3; Pride

To all the prideful,

                    First and foremost I would recommend that you step away from the mirror, you never know when it might crack under the sight of your own vanity.

You are so blind to it, you were that make-up in layers and layers just to catch someones eye but who are really trying to please, yourself or them?

I the undersigned have watched you from the other side of the mirror and I have found no pity or even sympathy for you mainly because your vanity will not allow you to see past your own nose.

In vain you try to impress, in vain you try harder to stand out from the crowd but it only makes you look like fool when you stand alone playing with your hair.

You spend countless hours in front of that golden mirror as though it were speaking to you but I’ve got one thing to reply to the aged old question, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the vainest of them all?” but I highly doubt you will like the answer to that question.

I the undersigned have been noted for vanity but your surpasses even that as you smack your red lips together like a fish again fuelling you vanity and your ego.

I will not waste my time by telling you to repent because its clearly wasted but I will inform you that if by some small fortune you end up in Purgatory, you will be broken upon a wheel, sounds pleasant doesn’t it?

All I ask is that for one moment you put your pride and your vanity aside to make a difference but I know all too well that you will continuously stroke your ego with this mindless vanity.

Methinks while I sit in my contemplation about funding for the literary consultant which I now I will gain without any fuss or hassle but methinks I could do with a refresher of all the terms and conditions of the funding (which there are none) before I jump head long into the deep end of the pool, so methinks its back to the boring paperwork and the pen pushing for me. On a different note; I’m tempted to put my latest shorts here but I wasn’t sure if they would be appropriate for the audience but I must admit I got a good reception when I read them out to my writing group, so without further ado I will explain my shorts.

I had an idea after some rant and I thought “wouldn’t it be different to write letters based on the 7 deadly sins and have them all signed by a fictional Lucifer”, I’ve already done 2 but I really want to get back into the dark and somewhat cynical side of writing these letters but I really hope you will enjoy them and just to be on the safe side, the one for Lust is a bit explicit.

1; Lust

To the luster’s, the panders and the seducers,
                                                                                                              I the undersigned must congratulate you all on your contribution to society as the rest of them earn their wages through hard work, all you do is lye on your back.

Yes, I have seen the way you use those whips and chains to please those desperate men. I have seen the way you fake your orgasm and your climax is just as bad. I’ve seen the spark in your eye when you receiver a generous tip down your thing. I’ve seen the layers of make-up you larger on to fuel your passionate desire.

I see all this and I know a lot more, I know for a fact that you spend those handsome wages upon drink and fags, will they make you more beautiful? Will they please your desire for sex?

You want for nothing but lust for everything, you seduce those willing men under the influence of alcohol and probably other things, you want for nothing yet you crave a better life when you are lost in the world of prostitution.

I don’t judge you for this, that is not my place, you chose this pitiful existence and for that I can only sympathise yet for your sins you will be carried to Minos for judgement and sent to Lust or the circle of fraud especially catered for false love.

If you repent hard enough you may end up in the circle of Purgatory for Lust but there is no redemption for those that are false but I can’t see you repenting anytime soon.

For one day, mark my words, you will be going out your normal ‘business’ when something goes terribly wrong and your stuck with a child or hooked on some drug, is this what you want in your life?

I the undersigned have now lost all sympathy with you and all the others that place themselves in the habit of prostitution but in this regard when you are sent to Purgatory, the luster will be smothered in fire and brimstone, the frauds meanwhile will face a different faith.

I hope it was worth it in the end and when you come to Hell expect nothing from me.

Well the title of this blog certainly seems fitting enough in regard to my latest post on my old blog, I would highly recommend that you read it but if I’m being totally honest with you nice people, it certainly feels as though I’ve fallen over many hurdles and I’ve still got a long way to go yet, so what happens now to the woman with a dream? I’m not sure but I determined to get there somehow but in the meantime I guess its down to luck to deal me the right cards. On another note; physio was alright I suppose, I’ve got more exercises to do to build up the muscle on my knee and I certainly feel the benefits. On a side note; my old blog has reached 2165 page views (there has been traffic there) and this blog has reached 6109 page views (there has been traffic here too).

For some reason it feels as though all my straight has gone well mentally at least, I feel somewhat powerless against this onslaught of paranoia which has awoken this morning but I’m carrying on in hope that it vanishes the same way it came but that is a different story. Yesterday with Mike was really awesome and he is just my knight in shining armour and I love him loads. On another note; my old blog has reached 2155 page views and this blog has reached 6079 page views (methinks there has been some traffic flow here).

“The Minotaur sleeps on in the decaying labyrinth, I wonder if it realises that the darkness is fading and light can been seen from all corners, I wonder if it realises that it no longer needs to watch and linger over me like a dead corpse, I wonder if the Minotaur realises that everything about its world is falling apart as I venture further and further beyond its reach and its stare, I care not for the Minotaur as I wonder towards the bright clouds of Paradise, I only think of you my sweet prince as I dance with joy in our heart, I think on tomorrow and how we will spend those happy hours together, I smile again as I think upon Paradise, I smile as think about your tender embrace and your sweet kiss, as I wait for tomorrow I still smile in this dull limbo between Paradise and the labyrinth below, smile now my dear sweet prince for I will return to Paradise with haste and love”~ random thought

Today hasn’t really seen much change apart from the fact that I went out for my 30 minute walk instead of trying to kill myself for an hour and a half, also I managed to copy as much evidence as I need for the dole and they can do whatever they like with it. However, I realised something today that I might point out at Triage, somehow I feel as though I have been shunned aside because of my rudeness towards my adviser but in all due respect she was the rude party to begin with and somehow I feel as though I’ve been neglected and I’ve just become another number among the thousand of jobless people out there. Its not fair, why should others being receiving phone calls about jobs when I only receive silence? Why should I sit idly whilst someone else gets a job which I sorely need? Maybe I’m just a special case but I’ve had enough, I’m at the point in life where I want to pay my dues to society and earn a living whiter it be a part time job or my highly desired writing career, at this rate I don’t care what happens first, a nice wage slip would be nice right about now but as I say, I might be special. On a side note; I just realised I’ve been neglecting to keep track of the fact if anyone new has come to these blogs but it doesn’t seem likely. On another note; my old blog has reached 2155 page views (there has been a bit of traffic here) and this blog has reached 6045 page views.