As you can gather from the title of this post, I’ve now finished all the coursework that I have been given and I’m quite pleased with myself however, I now need to wait on feedback from Outcome 3 and 4, maybe I should have waited for Outcome 3’s feedback first before sending 4 but it’s done now, the email has been sent and I just hope my tutor isn’t now sitting in her chair wondering just how much time I have spent in total during my studying, to be honest, I don’t even know. In wedding news: at least I’ve decided what favours I like, I wish choosing invites was just as easy but I will get there. On a different note; I’ve managed to rename my old blog; ‘Writing Life’, it’s the same blog just a new title and it sounds a lot better than ‘Help!’ On a side note; my old blog has reached 2,470 page views and this blog has reached 10,046 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for visiting both blogs.
Fix
Well, my laptop is fixed, many thanks to a friends who attends the writing club with me and I’m glad that my laptop is back to normal. Today at the writing club was really great, I even got homework from John which I have completed, by homework, I mean editing a chapter from his novel. Also I will write the personal story I read out today which actually got a rather good reception which I wasn’t expecting. Disorder
It started after the divorce, the notions and the feelings telling me not to eat. I wanted to get away from it all but I realised it was too late, I had succumbed to the disorder but I always ate a good meal at tea time, it was the rest of the day that I didn’t.
At High School for our ten to fifteen minute I always ate a Mars bar because that’s all I wanted, something to comfort me in my struggles, something made of chocolate to satisfy the need for food and that was all I ate, it was the only the thing I wanted.
At times, I wanted a packet of crisps but I thought to myself what I had would be enough and then I ignored the hungry cries from my belly because it wasn’t full, they were just a noise and the voices get telling me I wasn’t hungry, so I believed them.
Of course, now and again, I blamed the bullies for the disorder because they certainly didn’t help but I quickly realised that it wasn’t them who forced me to eat so little, I only had myself to blame for that.
Sometimes, I ate lunch in the school dinner hall if I had enough on that stupid plastic card they gave us but I hated it because it filled of noise and judgemental stares and I never knew what I wanted as I stood in the queue beside my friends. I didn’t want to be in that place and one time, I accidently dropped my plate from the exhaustion of P.E. Now thinking back to that day, I can’t remember if I had got anything that day or if I ever re-joined that queue.
Most of the time, I ate at home just having a plate of chips or some crisps on a piece of bread with butter if I was hungry but I remember those days where I either went home and ate nothing or stayed at school and ate nothing.
I wasn’t anorexic but my friends were worried but I couldn’t explain why I had taken this course because the disorder was already consuming me inside and outside.
I was tired, down and I couldn’t concentrate because of the noise in my head, telling me that it will be OK tomorrow, that I will be hungrier later on, telling me that it will soon pass but it didn’t.
The trend didn’t fade, instead it began again when I was at college, I only ate a packet of crisps because it was enough and it was what I used to eating, at this time my new friends were also concerned. I remember taking a break during class and I was told something that I can’t remember now but I threw most of the crisps left in the packet away and I don’t remember having lunch that day either.
By my second year, I was eating a bit better but not by much, I gave my money away to help other’s buy their own lunch while I had to count what was left of the coins I had in my purse, I bought what I could afford and ate but I didn’t enjoy the food.
I probably should have took that as warning sign because I knew something was wrong but I kept to the habit anyway thinking once more that it would go away, it didn’t because one day at lunch time I went with some friends but I didn’t want to eat because something was on my mind and it wouldn’t go away.
Now, the disorder is gone, I enjoy food and I eat much more than I did back then and I feel a lot better now than I did but if something goes wrong, the disorder will return and the war will begin again but I know that I am stronger than submitting those voices and I know that I can win.
In other news; I just received word back from my tutor about my Learning Outcome 1 and 2 and I’ve passed. I don’t quite understand how but I’ve passed and now I’ve completed 50% of the overall course. I think I’ve seriously underestimated myself because this course is obviously of an advanced higher standard and with only one higher to my name, it’s comes a bit of shock really to myself that I’m succeeding so well at higher standard. On a cheerful note; my old blog has reached 2,470 page views and this blog has reached 10,029 page views (there has been a jump in traffic on both blogs).
Recess
Taking some time away from my coursework despite the fact I am feeling a lot better and I am finally cured of the cold, I feel slightly preoccupied and that doesn’t sit well with studying so for now, my coursework will take a back seat. Mind you, I’ve only got 9 more pages to do before I am actually finished, so I suppose I deserve so time off. In the meantime, I am busy editing my personal story for tomorrow and looking at wedding invites because the one’s I liked originally want a 50% deposit which I didn’t realise, so obviously I’m now looking for an alternative. On another note; my old blog has reached 2,469 page views and this blog has reached 10,021 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.
Cherish
“I hear the Minotaur in the recess of my mind trying to change my thoughts and I try to concentrate on what lies ahead. I think about tomorrow and of your tender loving embrace, I think about how you will look after me and cure me of this cold, I think about how you will smile despite your misfortune, I think about the day we will spend together in the walls of Paradise, smiling and talking about our future. Tomorrow, the Minotaur will be far away and I can relax in your arms and focus on getting better. Tomorrow, Paradise will be the cure to all our problems”~ random thought
Shut Down
Well today has been eventful starting with the feedback from tutor from the assignments that I sent away, all I can say that I passed them and I can now start the learning outcomes which came into’s post. To be honest, I am quite pleased with the results but I will admit that despite the fact that the learning outcomes are open book, the questions are perplexing but at least I made a good start but I hope that tomorrow I can fine tune some of the answers because I really, really want to pass (my academic side will kick me if I don’t) and now I just want to shut down and relax. On a more relaxing note; my old blog has reached 2,469 page views and this blog has reached 9,985 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for continuing to visit both blogs.
Understand
I did some coursework today and I sent a letter to the distance learning team to ask about the learning outcomes because I’m a bit confused on if they are closed book or not but I am hoping that they won’t take long to answer however I’ve started on Outcome 4 and made some progress on it. Now, to business, at the work programme there were a lot of changes going on and I’ve been giving a new advisor and I’ve signed up with one recruitment agency as requested and I am hoping to see some results from that. So all in all, today has been a mixture of things really. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2,467 page views and this blog has reached 9,973 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.
The Devil’s Apothecary
In a lonely upturned alleyway, there was an apothecary but this was no ordinary apothecary. It was always busy however when the clients returned they were the never same.
So three rival apothecaries decided that it was time to investigate what so special.
Their names were; Gavin, Patrick and Ethan.
Gavin bulldozed his way into the alleyway which was unusually empty but this didn’t deter him from his task as he was going to confront the owner and ask them to divulge their secrets so that he too could be successful.
The owner was never seen, only a voice would come from the shadows of the interior or so the stories and rumours suggested.
The stall was very small and had all kinds of vials and bottles on the shelves but these seemed empty at first glance however one looked as though it contained a blue substance, the label read Lust.
“That one is quite popular”, a voice said catching Gavin of guard.
Gavin looked into the stall and could see no sign of where the voice had come from but in his frustrated and startled state, he soon began to examine the other bottles which all had the names of the seven deadly sins and some were more imaginative.
“What does this vial do?” Gavin said holding up the one that said Violence.
“Ah, that one has three affects if you are interested?” the voice spoke again.
“What are these effects?” answered Gavin.
“The first is; if you place a drop of the liquid into a rival’s glass then they will commit suicide, the second; if you place a drop in two different cups, then the two people will fight on another until death takes them and the third; is if you place three drops the person will choke on their blasphemous words,” the voice answered back.
The man paused and contemplated for a moment, was this the key to success? Label vials in an unusual way and have multiple methods to deal with…
“Wait, how will this cure any ailments?” Gavin asked suddenly.
“That is my own little secret,” the voice said sounding much closer than before.
Frustrated that he had been found out, Gavin tried on last question; “So how much for Greed?”
“Just a soul,” the voice answered sensing it had ensnared a client.
Puzzled, Gavin then asked; “So how does that work?”
“Come back in a week and I will show you,” the voice answered.
Gavin was about to answer but he could sense that there was nothing there now to answer him, so the with phial containing a viscous golden coloured liquid in one hand, Gavin walked away without any answers.
Now, Patrick and Ethan had no idea what had taken place, all they knew was that Gavin exited the alleyway with something small in his hands but they couldn’t predict was going to happen next.
In the following days, more and more people visited the apothecary and they saw no sign of their rival but by the end of the week, they saw Gavin visit the apothecary but he looked lost and had a golden colour to his skin.
“Welcome back my friend, please step this way,” the voice said greeting Gavin and then he was no more, where he went no-one knew.
So Patrick decided to approach the apothecary more cautiously, timid even and hoped that he would not disappear like Gavin.
He scoured the stall and around the stall to check if there was anyway a voice could just suddenly appear but the back of the stall just provided a clear view to the front of the stall, walking back round again, Patrick then examined each phial in turn.
He noticed the peculiar labels but he also noticed that on the back there was another label on how to take the liquid inside but it didn’t suggest a dosage which was rather unusual.
“Why are there no clear intrusions on these?” Patrick asked aloud.
“Because there is no need for them, the dosage is different to each client,” the voice answered back.
Patrick blinked and saw that what was an empty stall a few moments ago was now shrouded in darkness.
“Who or what are you?” Patrick asked afraid.
At first the voice didn’t answer but then it said; “Take the vial that says Pride and come back in a week and I will tell you what you want to know”.
The vial had a violet liquid inside and Patrick took it away and did as the voice instructed.
Only Ethan was left and he observed that now Patrick had something within his grasp and he was beginning to wonder if the alleyway was cursed with the ghost of previous apothecary owner.
Ethan then watched as more and more people visited the alleyway, in fact, there was double the amount from the last time however at the end of the week, Patrick appeared with a tailor made suit with a shocking violet tie and three of his five fingers were in the same violet hue.
“Ah, you have come back and may I say, you look rather fetching, please come with me and I will tell you everything,” the voice said greeting Patrick in the shadows of the stall and he too vanished.
By now, Ethan realised that it was just him and the apothecary in the ally but still people visited the stall more often than his but he had a cunning plan.
He wouldn’t visit the stall, or rush into the ally like a bull in a China shop nor would he investigate if there was anyone there, instead he would do nothing.
For one whole week, he watched the comings and goings of the alleyway from the safety of his stall and he got one or two customer’s visiting but none of them bought anything as they had already been claimed by the stall in the ally.
Then one day, as Ethan was sitting in his stall when a shady figure appeared from the ally and approached him directly.
The figure was tall and slim but there was something different about him, his face was ashen but seemed perfectly confident walking towards him with a small swagger in his step and he swore a smug grin.
Ethan stopped what he was doing and stared at the newcomer with a jealous, almost hateful stare.
“I have an ailment that can cure that jealous stare,” the man said as he stood at the stall.
Blushing, the man soon made his face neutral so this man or whatever he was couldn’t subscribe him one of his vials.
“You have no business here,” Ethan answered monotonously.
“Ah, but I do, you my friend need a cure for your ails and I can help,” the man said still smiling smugly.
“Leave… Now!” Ethan said sharply.
“As you wish but I will leave this here in case you change your mind,” the man said slipping away back to the ally but he left behind a vial filled a vibrant green liquid.
Hesitantly, Ethan picked up the vial and examined the label which read Envy and he was instantly enraged but curiosity soon made him examine the other label at the back but he also noticed a note.
Placing the vial back on the counter, he then unfurled the note and read it; “In one week I will take payment for this vial and its contents, I expect to see you at my stall”.
Confused and slightly frustrated, Ethan threw the note onto the street and placed the vial in a secret place where he would not see it again.
However, the next day, Ethan could see a green pulse coming from this secret place and eventually gave into temptation.
He tried, one does of the vial and in an instant he wanted more and more, until the whole vial was empty but he still felt the same as he did previously but when a customer came to his stall asking for an item, his own words surprised him as he said; “You will have nothing if you are already a customer of his”.
The next few days were much the same but he grew increasingly more jealous of the man that claimed that have cured his ails with one phial but at the end of the week, he barely recognised himself as his hair had vivid green strips through it and he couldn’t place the feeling that he had lost something important to him.
So, Ethan went to the stall to confront the man but there was no stall to be seen, only an empty alleyway, Ethan also noticed that during the week no-one had entered the alley, it was like the man had given up on the business of apothecary.
Buzzing with jealously, Ethan confronted him, “Just what kind of game are you playing?”
“Oh, no games but I see you have come to this place and it’s time for me to collect my payment,” the man answered still smiling.
“What payment is that? Who are you?” Ethan asked spontaneously.
“I think you already know the answer to the last question and as to first, why don’t you come with me and I will explain on the way,” the man said smugly.
Ethan followed him but nothing made much sense as all at once as he disappeared losing his soul along the way and could only speak in a jealous tongue.
In the end, the three rival’s became like brothers in the realms of Hell and the Devil got what he wanted.
On a different note; my old blog has reached 2,47 page views and this blog has reached 9,950 page views (there has been a lot of traffic on this blog).
Soar
“With the Minotaur missing, I feel like I’ve finally gained some of my self-esteem back, perhaps my confidence has a grown slightly but I dare not speak aloud these thoughts encase the Minotaur return’s with a vengeance. In Limbo now I wonder, free from the recent paperwork that I have been doing, free from studying, I feel like I can soar to new heights, I feel like I can reach the unreachable goal but I feel weary from my recent studies and tomorrow I will seek much needed rest and relaxation. I will find both in the comfort of your loving tender embrace handsome, I hope I can avoid talking about what I’ve learnt thus far because I just be with you my sweet prince. I want to hold your hand tightly as we wonder those golden halls and listen to you talking about how your week has been. Tomorrow, all of this can be achieved and when the morning comes, all of this will be achieved”~ random thought
Love
“Another week goes by and still no sound can be heard for the Minotaur and I begin to question if the Minotaur was really in apart of this labyrinth in the first place, I begin to wonder if the chains I’ve been shackled to are just apart of my vivid imagination, I wonder if this whole stone labyrinth is just an idea waiting to be put into writing. I don’t think so, the labyrinth is real enough as I envision those stone walls surrounding me when I’m at my weakest but I’m not worried about any of that. I look towards Paradise and smile lightly as I can see your handsome face smiling back at me, I can feel you warm tender arms around me, encasing me in love. Tomorrow, I think my thoughts will be free of the Minotaur, tomorrow, I will just be myself again, tomorrow, I will smile brighter than the star’s in the night sky. Tomorrow, my sweet prince, I will hold your hand tightly as we wonder through Paradise like we are lost in our little world filled of love and devotion”~ random thought
Flowers
There are no flowers,
In her hair,
That day,
Not a single rose,
In that long,
Blonde hair,
Of hers,
The only roses,
Are the ones,
That are by her side,
As she sits,
In her white dress,
Savouring,
The moment,
Her mum,
Smiling now,
Looking at her daughter,
With fondness,
It was time to leave,
As the wedding car,
Had now arrived,
The bride,
Picked up,
Her red and white roses,
And carried,
Them with excitement,
And nervousness,
The bride,
Leaves her family home,
Behind,
And left for the church,
She grasps her roses,
Smiling,
As they comfort her,
With their gentle aroma,
They comfort her,
On her journey,
Now those roses,
Take her into the church,
And to the end of the aisle,
Where they are now given,
To one of the bridesmaids,
Until the end,
Of the ceremony,
The bride and groom,
Exit,
With the roses in tow,
A few last photos are taken,
With the bride,
Posing with her roses,
And her husband,
Now,
They are thrown,
To some unsuspecting,
Person,
Who catches them,
And now those same roses,
Will be in their grasp,
Until they wither
On another note;my old blog has reached 2,441 page views and this blog has reached 9,796 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.
Heather's Blog 