Well today has been rather interesting, finally sent the long and frankly polite email to the Business Gateway thanking them for their time, etc, etc and I will remain in contact with them because they have helped me get this far, I also sent an email to literary consultant saying I won’t be pursuing my enquiry due to my circumstances and I also thanked them for their time, etc, etc. I really appreciate what both these people have offered but methinks I will still pursue the long waited dream another way, I’m going to polish Reach until its perfect and then go through a different complied list of agents and publishers, then I will see what happens. I know I should probably cut out the middle man and jump into self publishing but I so badly want to be a traditional author it’s unreal, besides I’m a traditional person at the best of times so this isn’t any different. I know it will be a struggle but that’s why I have good friends and a handsome sexy fiance behind me every step of the way, so keep those fingers crossed people. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2,247 page views and this blog has reached 6,943 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for continuing to visit both blogs.

I’m not sure how I’m still tying away after not sleeping last night but never mind, here is a link to my WordPress which is really accounting the shorter version of my old blog post from yesterday with some extra bits and pieces thrown in; http://heatherpollock92.wordpress.com/. I really wish I knew what to do next but methinks I will have to send a couple of emails to some friends for advice but in the meantime, I can only sit here and contemplate about my dead dream. On another note; my old blog has reached 2,246 page views and this blog has reached 6,928 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for visiting both blogs.

I would recommend that you read the latest post on my old blog to understand the title of this post because to be frank all I want to do is weep beside my broken dream in the darkest corner of Hell and never come out again: http://heatherpollock98.blogspot.co.uk/, so I will apologise for the shortness of this post but I really have nothing sensible to say. On a side note; my old blog has reached 2,227 page views and this blog has reached 6,919 page views (there has been traffic on both blogs).

I wish I could say that Triage today was useful and I managed to get all my questions answered but I would be lying, Triage was a waste of time but to be honest I didn’t expect anything less from them but I felt as though I was just some random using the computer’s, like I was invisible to them and the government wonder why people on the dole are more likely to themselves, it’s depressing. Anyway; here is a link to my WordPress blog (as I’ve just written something there): http://heatherpollock92.wordpress.com/. On a more positive note; my old blog has reached 2,226 page views and this blog has reached 6,906 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for continuing to visit both blogs.

Not entirely sure what I mean by this title, I suppose in a way I’m trying to hide my paranoia or whatever it is that is bothering me today behind some false pretence that I’m ok, I’m not, I miss Paradise and I miss Mike, I miss being by his side, I miss his tender arms and his even tender smile, I miss those sweet words he told me yesterday however yesterday with Mike was great but I just wish I wasn’t a paranoid idiot. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2,226 page views and this blog has reached 6,893 page views (there has been traffic on both blogs).

“For once it is the Minotaur that is lost in its own labyrinth as it searches blindly through the darkness for some trace of me but it will find none as I linger between the stony walls of the labyrinth and the heavenly clouds of Paradise, Limbo seems to be my home for now until I return to those white walls but Limbo is as lonesome as that dark labyrinth below me, it holds no love nor joy, only sorrow exists in that sorry place, where in comparison Paradise is filled of laughter and radiant sunshine, it is also home of my one true love, tomorrow seems so far away yet it will come and I will be with you once more my sweet prince, smiling with you in Paradise”~ random thought

I probably should note I’m going to change the layout of these posts but only the page views as it would make sense to put a comma in-between the numbers rather than leave them as a whole, plus it is a lot easier on the eye methinks but other than that the only thing that I can comment on really is just the fact that I’m on word back from the Business Gateway but I have a strange feeling that I am asking to in front of the panel for the amount I need, I should (in theory) get it no problem but we will wait and see what happens next. On a different note; I will apologize if this blog seems dull and uninteresting, not much exciting is happening here. On another note; my old blog has reached 2,220 page views and this blog has reached 6,864 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.

That’s all I can really say about this entry is the fact that is holds no water or any apparent meaning as today follows on from the unexciting events of yesterday although I should mention that I’ve finally gotten word back from the business gateway and it looks like I might get £500 to go towards the consultant fees or the more simple term, agent fees, different thing but it should work in principal (she says not so optimistically) but we will wait and see. On a side note; my old blog has reached 2,220 page views and this blog has reached 6,848 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for continuing to visit both blogs.

Well thankfully it seems as though I have finally recovered from whatever bug I had so I can finally relax and focus on other things, which reminds me I’ve been meaning to say since the 3rd that it has now been two years since I signed on the dole, which isn’t really an achievement because they have still done nothing for me, I probably would imagine that they aren’t even looking for a job for me as that is now Triage’s job, so someone remind me why I have to sign on? Oh, yes, to get dole money which doesn’t even last. On a less depressing note; my old blog has reached 2220 page views and this blog has reached 6827 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.

Seems appropriate for many reasons as methinks (although I hope I’m not speaking too soon) I’ve finally got rid of whatever has been wrong with me although it has been replaced with a vast amount of worry despite the fact that yesterday with Mike was really awesome and amazing. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2220 page views and this blog has reached 6815 page views (there has been traffic on both blogs).