“Gazing towards Paradise, I find myself thinking about you as always my sweet prince and I find myself smiling again, I find myself sitting in Limbo just wondering in a dream of love and joy. I also find myself giddy as I think about our up coming wedding, I’m nervous and excited that it won’t be long until I live with you in the white walls of Paradise. Although for now, I sit with a content look upon my face and think about what tomorrow will bring for us both”~ random thought
Monologue
Henry Jekyll
*spoken in full English RP*
Yes I remember you,
How could I forget,
The monster I made,
From potions,
And foolish notions,
From failed experiments,
To putting those potions,
Into my veins,
Yes Edward,
I remember you,
Your voice,
Haunts me,
As I lay here,
In this dark abyss,
I can only hear it,
Crying out my name,
Over and over,
As I wonder in this darkness,
Remembering,
Those final moments,
Of my life,
But have you joined me here,
In the same darkness,
Or are you somewhere else,
Am I being punished,
For your crimes,
Because you feel no regret,
Yet I trembled,
When you bludgeoned,
That man to death,
With my cane,
I trembled at the sight,
Of that harlot,
And tremble still,
When you shoved that child aside,
And here is this abyss,
I feel,
Rage,
An uncontrollable rage,
This anger,
Is not mine,
And when you took control,
Of my body,
I felt nothing,
I was trapped,
Inside,
Numb,
And unaware of those blows you dealt,
And the words you said,
But when we changed and morphed,
I still felt a numbness,
In my bones,
Was I really a monster,
Or just a plaything,
For you to control,
Your anger,
Does me a great injustice Edward,
I could never feel,
Such pain,
Nor this wraith,
I tremble and shake,
Again,
This is your doing Edward,
I will not bow to your will,
Yet,
I am here,
In this dark place,
That is not Heaven,
Earth or even Hell,
Yet,
We have fallen here together,
Like brothers,
But you do me wrong,
With these conflicting emotions,
And I ponder in this empty darkness,
Alone,
With these thoughts,
I think again that I had control,
That I was powerful enough,
To stop you,
When you morphed into you my shape,
But,
Maybe you were more human,
Than I thought,
And I was the monster,
Inside you,
But that can’t be,
Because I took the potions,
And shared the same fate,
As you,
In this place that no life,
No light,
Where am I?
Is this place inside your head?
Have you created a Hell,
For us both,
But even in Hell,
Satin can only,
Take one of us,
But was there an us,
Or just you and I,
These thoughts sway me,
In the darkness,
I am alone,
Where are you Edward?
Why are you not here,
In this dark place,
Why do you call my name,
When I can’t answer you,
Pain,
Anger,
These are your feelings,
Yet,
I feel with you like a brother,
This place must be Hell,
If I can feel,
Your emotions,
When you were just a creation,
A slow poison,
In my veins,
In this place of darkness,
I will doff my hat to the Devil,
And keep my cane close,
I lye still now,
In this place,
Of life and death,
I must die,
With you Edward,
As your mind will soon cease,
And I will be no more,
But I will not forget,
Those good times,
Nor the success we shared,
I will not forget you,
When Death comes,
But remember me,
Edward,
Remember the one,
Who made you from nothing,
Remember who,
Bore you in their body like a babe,
Remember me,
Edward,
Remember,
Henry Jekyll
On another note: my old blog has reached 2,579 page views and this blog has reached 11,960 page views. Once again a big thank you to nice people for continuing to visit both blogs.
Belonging
“As the dark thought twist and turn within my mind, I can’t help but think about you my sweet prince, I long to feel your tender embrace again and I long to her your sweet and gentle words. I wonder silently thinking to myself in Limbo but I draw nearer and nearer to Paradise. As I look upon it’s golden gates I can’t help but smile and feel the dark thoughts lifting ever so slowly as I drew near to our home, the place where I belong and so often I forget that. I forget that I finally belong after searching for so long to find somewhere I could call my own. I belong in Paradise with you my sweet prince and I really hope the rest of these dark thoughts fade away come the morning”~ random thought
Nurse
“In the labyrinth, I sway to and fro as the cold continues to consume my body, I smile lightly to myself but I know that it isn’t real, only you can make that smile appear upon my tender lips handsome, I now wonder towards Paradise hoping that we will both feel better soon and I hope that tomorrow I don’t feel too unwell but we will see what happens. Gazing towards Paradise gives me hope and I feel light-hearted, I feel better staring at those golden gates but tomorrow, I will nurse you back to health and you will do the same, tomorrow, no matter what happens, it will be an awesome day”~ random thought
Sin Note
After falling for what seemed like an eternity, the man soon came thudding to a stop on a barren landscape, the fall would have killed any normal man but he had figured through his journey that he was already dead and had been summoned to wherever he was now.
The man stood and dusted himself off, he glanced around finding only dims fires were lit in the distance and he also saw that there was a queue of other souls, well he gathered they were souls anyway forming beyond him, the queue seemed to stretch on and on.
The man soon figured that he was supposed to join this queue of dead souls and he soon found a vacant place and started to march, step by step towards the blazing fires.
No-one spoke in the queue and no-one seemed to be aware that they were being led to their doom, judging by the amount of scream’s he could hear made by the other’s falling into this plain, where the hell was he anyway, he wondered silently to himself.
As the queue marching on, the man looked behind him and saw that there were an infinite number of souls behind him also waiting whatever fate lay beyond this fire drenched hellhole.
Still marching, the man noticed that there was an end to the queue and souls were being escorted by phantom figure’s to be judged, other’s seemed to wonder off and fall into the fires below, the man wondered if there were circle’s here or if there was some kind of order to this chaos.
Finally nearing the end or rather the beginning of the queue, the man noticed that there was a table where a woman sat asking for their names and giving them a notebook or what looked like a notebook while pointing them in the direction they should go.
“This is most damned place I’ve ever seen,” the man thought silently as the soul in front of him left the queue and was never seen again.
The man noticed that the woman at the desk looked plain and quite boring, there was nothing on the desk expect a check-list of names and an infinite number of black notebooks, which looked like they contained only a couple of pages in them.
“Name please,” the woman asked without looking at him.
“Conner Drake,” the man answered without enthusiasm.
“I need you to sign this form for me Mr Drake,” the woman said handing him a piece of paper.
On the paper the title read “Terms and Condition’s”, Conner wondered why such a place needed
terms and condition’s but his mouth was soon in motion as he said, “Does anyone read this?”
“No but it keeps the boss happy,” the woman answered honestly.
Boss, surely such a damned place couldn’t have a boss or someone that was in control of all these wondering souls.
The woman made a little noise as though to clear her throat and indicated to the sign above her which read: “No Swearing”.
“Great now they can hear your thoughts Conner, great move for landing yourself here in Hell,” his mind told him although he wanted to deny that he was in Hell but the evidence was overwhelming.
The woman cocked an eyebrow at him and indicated the second sign or rule which read: “Don’t mention Hell”.
“Next thing you now, I won’t be able to mention Lucifer,” his inner thoughts came again.
This time the woman looked at him and gestured the last sign which read: “Don’t mention the boss by name”.
“Damn, oh damn, damn it,” Conner thought again unable to stop himself and he hastily signed the form and gave it back to the woman.
“The boss wants to see you in person Mr Drake and I’ve to give you this, just go straight on and you will find the office,” the woman said offering him the notebook with not once ounce of sympathy.
Conner took the note book and followed the woman’s directions, “why would Lucifer need an office? Oh damn, oh shit, oh…” he thought and mentally cursed himself.
Conner looked at the notebook in his hands, hoping to take his mind of from thinking about things that could possibly land him into trouble, he noticed that the notebook was much thicker than he thought when he saw from a distance.
Conner also noticed as he turned each page, it was blank, even the front cover was blank, what was going on?
Conner found the office with ease and sat in the waiting room, there were two doors side by side, he wondered if one was to see the boss and the other lead straight to the circles below. As he waited, he could hear snippets of conversation from the boss’s room and the soul saying “Thank you,” before emitting a scream.
After the scream died in the air, Conner felt cold despite the blazing heat of Hell and he wondered if he was going to end up like that soul.
The door to the boss’s room opened by some unseen signal and Conner walked into the room, Lucifer looked different than he had pictured him.
Lucifer didn’t have the fabled horns or the spiked tale, he did have the black torn wings tucked by his sides but he looked, normal.
“Ah, Conner, please sit down,” Lucifer said gesturing to the seat that was directly in front of his desk.
“May I take that?” Lucifer asked indicating the notebook, Conner nodded and handed it to him with shaky hands and sat in the seat.
Lucifer waved his hand over the notebook and white writing appeared on the cover which read: “Conner Drake’s Sin Note”.
“What the hell was a sin note?” Conner wondered as he noticed the pages of the notebook were now filled in neat black writing although on the last page the writing said: “Swearing”.
“How the hell… oh damn, oh shit, oh crap, oh…” his brain engaged automatically and he noticed that beside the word swearing it had “Times ten”.
“I would quit while I was ahead if I were you,” Lucifer said interrupting whatever thought may have entered Conner’s head.
“I know you will have a lot of questions but I can’t answer them all for you, all I can tell you is that this notebook documents all the sins that you have committed and as you can see yours is tainted with them,” Lucifer spoke again confirming Conner’s suspicions.
“As I see it, you have choice, you can chose one of the sin’s you have committed and be cast to that circle or you end up like the rest of them,” Lucifer said not interpreting the latter part for Conner.
Conner mulled to himself silently, he knew his sins and he didn’t need to look at the notebook or rather Sin Note to discover which one’s he can committed but he silently wondered if he could get away with one of the less sever sin’s but he doubted it.
“Just one you say,” Conner said more to himself rather than Lucifer.
“Ok, I chose Greed,” Conner said announcing his fate.
“Very well then, four circle’s down, I will see around,” Lucifer said sounding pleased with himself.
Suddenly, the landscape changed into molten gold and with a scream Conner fell down towards Greed succumbing to the darkest sin to his name and was cast in gold.
On another note: my old blog has reached 2,575 page view and this blog has reached 11,750 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for visiting both blogs.
Destiny
“Destiny brought us together and now destiny is driving us towards our future together as man and wife, destiny will guide us also in out married life but tomorrow destiny will play a bigger role. This is what I think in my head as I stare longingly towards Paradise but I smile lightly as I remember that I belong there with you in those white walls and I remember that it won’t be long until the morning comes. I will admit that I am nervous about this meeting because it seems like the last pieces of this giant jigsaw are finally falling into place, I am nervous because I’m a bit worried encase the council find any loopholes or problems. I yearn for your comforting embrace but I know that soon I will be back in Paradise with you, my sweet prince”~ random thought
Ease
“Worry seems to be surrounding me and as I much as I hate burdening you with my problems, I know you always listen and I know that you always make everything right, peering towards Paradise I smile lightly as I think of you my sweet prince, I think of how you will hold me in your tender embrace as you make me smile and laugh with ease, I think about how we will wonder endlessly in those white clouds of Paradise together, hand in hand, I think about how my worry will simply fade away as though it never existed. I think about those sweet and kind words that you will whisper in my ear and I can hear them now, in my head. Tomorrow, I know will be a brighter day than the present week has been and I know that tomorrow I will lay in Paradise with you my sweet prince, silent and content”~ random thought
Oath
The Writer’s Oath
With a firm knock, the double door’s soon open with the ominous voice announcing “Enter,” and I enter the great hall.
It’s jam packed with writers and they scattered everywhere, I still look upon the hall in wonder and I almost forget myself when I remember something.
I need to make sure that the right people know I’m here, they have had many names over the years, “The Druids” was one and “The Helpers” was the other but I prefer to call them “The Secretaries” because they keep everything in order.
I approach the table where they have sat for the two years that I’ve come to this great hall, “State your name please,” one of the hooded Secretaries ask me.
“Heather Pollock,” I answer.
They look at their list for a moment and I can see clearly where my name has been written in their tight hand-writing.
“Welcome back Heather, here is your quill,” the other says to me kindly handing me a mahogany box.
I nod politely and take my box and find a quite space to myself.
I’ve not been coming to these events for long as I’ve only just made my place among the writers but my quill is unique or that’s what they tell me anyway.
I take the quill from the box and hold it in my right hand, it is unique, with its black and white halves and the tiniest sliver of red, it’s the most unique here, expect for the expert’s, they claim to have rainbow quills but I’ve never seen them.
Every writer is given a quill for their ability and their style of writing and it’s rumoured that some quill’s are based on the writer’s personality.
Gazing round the hall, I see the experts in their high chair’s above the chaos and the action, one nods at me and I smile back, I suppose they think I’m still a young upstart and my writing poses a threat to them but that’s just my own speculation.
There are three levels of writer’s here: the young upstarts who have no idea about the writing game and don’t know what they are getting into, the apprentice’s: that’s me, have knowledge and experience about our trade but we have still a long way to climb and then the expert’s keep watch over the young upstarts and the apprentice’s, they are our guides and they take no nonsense.
I shove the box in my robes which I still think are loose but I can’t complain and I try to see if I can find anyone in this vast crowd that I know.
I soon click eyes on a few friends that I know that are in same level as me and I wonder over to speak to them but just as we get talking, the sound of gong goes off in the distance and the great doors are shut. Those left behind, stay behind.
One of the experts gets up from his chair and starts droning on about the ceremony which we will subjected to, it’s dry and boring but we don’t have much choice but to listen to the words, another expert casts a curious glance towards me and I smile meekly and try to look more interested in what’s going on.
“Now we will speak the scared vows that bind us to our cause,” says the man conducting the ceremony.
“Raise your quills and repeat after me,” the man say’s pausing purely for dramatic effect as we raise our quills above ours heads.
“I do solemnly swear that I will keep my oath as a writer…”
“I do solemnly swear that I will keep my oath as a writer”
“I do also swear to keep our writing secrets safe and will not divulge them to anyone…”
“I do also swear to keep our writing secrets safe and will not divulge them to anyone”
“The writer’s oath is scared and shall not be tarnished, I pledge that I will write for as long as I am able for pleasure or for business, I will not write for wealth. I will seek guidance when it is needed most and I will pursue all avenues that I can take. I will write stories or novels or short stories that in time will come to change the world and its readers. I will strive to be the best writer I can be and I will uphold this oath until my dying day or else be punished,” the man said ending the oath.
We repeat what we have already committed to memory, we stand in silence, we stand together, bound by our oath and by our trade, we stand together, as writers.
Closer
“Once more, I sit upon the threshold to Paradise and gaze upon the soft white clouds beyond and I can see you clearly in my mind’s eye, smiling and embracing me tightly like always. I can see us in Paradise talking, smiling and laughing about all sorts of things, I can see us wondering in those those clouds together and I realise that this isn’t just my imagination, this is reality as I will be back in Paradise with you, my sweet prince once more and I wonder if this summer heat-wave will hold out for another day, just one day will be enough. I smile lightly now as I wonder silently what tomorrow has in store for us”~ random thought
Summer
“Bathing in the sunshine, I sit upon the threshold to Paradise counting down the hour’s and minutes until I back within your embrace again, I smile gently enjoying that thought and the weather although I am still carefully that I don’t sit too long in the scoring ray’s. I sit here smiling and wondering, possibly hoping that this good weather continues. I sit here thinking about you my sweet prince once more, tomorrow I think the sun will shine brightly upon us both and we can enjoy the summer air together, tomorrow will be another glorious day in Paradise”~ random thought
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