Renfield

Master,
Master,
Why do you not come?
Why do I no longer hear you?
Why can I no longer,
Sense your presence,
Have you truly left,
Master,
Abandoned,
Me here,
To suffer,
To what end?
Master,
Come back to me please,
I won’t disappoint you,
I swear,
Just return to me master,
My life is yours,
If you take it,
Perhaps,
You’ll return to me,
Master,
Please,
I beseech you,
Tell me where,
You are so,
I may find you,
So I can hear,
Your thoughts once again,
Feel your thirst for blood,
It’s empty now,
Have you really gone master?
Have I disappointed you so,
That you have perhaps,
Found another,
But there is no other,
Loyal than I,
Master,
Please,
I beg,
Return,
Return to me when the dusk,
And dawn cycle again,
Please come back,
Into the shadows of darkness,
It’s cold without you,
It’s cold,
Master
So very cold

^ alterative to where Renfield lives but Dracula dies but he doesn’t understand that because he’s still loyal and hopeful that his master is out there.

Weaver



Welcome to my house,
My palace,
Of words,
They float,
And dance,
Just mere words,
For a moment,
Before I spin them,
Into what you desire,
Tell me,
Do you desire a poem or prose?
A tale of woe and grief?
Something more light hearted?
Tell me,
And I will,
Grant your wish,
No matter how complex,
No matter how far-fetched,
For words,
Have been my domain,
For longer than I can remember,
Ever spinning,
Ever circling,
Until I weave them,
At my fingertips,
And create,
Small fragments,
That create,
A small blot,
On the page of life,
You could say,
I am there master,
But I prefer,
To be called,
The Weaver

Horizon



We watch,
The red sun rise,
War is coming,
We’ve to be prepared,
For something,
That might not even,
Be true,
Yet,
Fear grips us,
As we stare,
Uncertain,
Heads bowed,
To our phone screens,
Watching the news,
Waiting,
For an end,
For a call,
There’s already,
So much war,
What’s another,
As we fear,
As we are on our knees,
In chains,
To the overlord’s,
Above us,
They will not give us,
Mercy,
Even if we pray,
We are slaves,
In a world,
That wants divide,
In a world,
Where the facts,
Aren’t so black and white,
So,
We stare at the sun,
Watching the horizon,
As a shadow is cast,
And we can do nothing

Anguish

There’s a hole,
In my heart,
Of where you should be,
As I scream,
Into the abyss,
That I need you,
As I form the support,
That keeps me going,
Now that you’re not here,
Yet my heart,
Continues,
To scream,
I need you,
Over and over again,
As the darkness,
Closes in,
I need you,
As I’m barely holding on,
I need you,
As I’m broken,
I need you,
Even though you’re gone

Roses

!Trigger warning ahead! Please read at your own discretion

White petals,
Fall the sky,
Stained,
With blood,
That will never dry,
White roses,
Now stained,
Red,
Fall onto the ground,
Over 700 dead,
Their lives taken,
By their own hand,
Because they saw,
No other way,
Because of the choices,
That are being made,
By one man,
Of power and greed,
700 women,
Took their lives,
And it will not be in vain,
We will honour them,
Our sisters,
Our daughters,
Our granddaughters,
We will keep,
Fighting in the cruel,
World of pain,
We will remember,
Them and their names,
For how is the normal,
How can we stand by,
And stay silent,
As our choices,
Are stripped away,
As our rights are taken,
By corruption and malice,
We must fight,
Despite being scared,
We must be strong,
Despite knowing,
It might all go wrong,
We must continue,
So no more lives,
Have to be taken,
We must stand against,
This evil,
We must untie,
Under one banner,
Under one name,
Under the falling petals,
From the sky

Misery (Fibromyalgia)

Misery,

And pain,

That is the world,

I live in,

Constantly,

Fibromyalgia,

Is to blame,

It feels like,

A constant,

Pounding,

All over,

My body,

Which makes,

Me extremely,

Fatigued,

Sensitive to pain,

And even sensitive,

To other people’s touch,

My whole,

Body,

Can feel stiff,

To move,

Which,

Makes,

Sleep difficult,

I can get,

Burning sensations,

I can’t regulate,

My body temperature,

Like everyone else,

Living,

With this,

Has caused mental health,

Problems,

Mainly depression,

The fibro-fog,

Is the worse,

I suddenly forget,

What I was doing,

Or why I was going,

To the shop,

I can’t concentrate,

On most things,

I can experience,

Headaches,

For me,

It’s caused dietary,

Issues,

But others,

Can experience,

IBS,

The flare-ups,

Cause,

Everything,

To hurt,

Twice,

Maybe even,

A hundred,

Times worse,

Than before,

Which,

Can leave,

Me bed bound,

For days,

Maybe weeks,

At a time,

There,

Is no cure,

For this misery,

But there are treatments,

To help,

And maybe,

Relieve,

Some of the symptoms,

Such as antidepressants,

Painkillers,

Even counselling,

Exercise,

Can help,

But I can’t always,

Manage it,

Sometimes,

I even push,

Myself too far,

And I end up,

Being back,

In pain,

One day,

I hope,

There will be a cure,

Or something,

That can take this,

Misery,

Away,

Forever

Blue-Green (Avoidant Personality disorder)

Intoxicated,

Within,

The,

Blue-green,

Slime,

I view,

Myself,

As someone,

Who is,

Unappealing,

And can’t,

Hold a decent,

Conversation,

I fear,

Being rejected,

Humiliated,

And ridiculed,

By others,

I want,

To be able,

To have,

A small,

Circle,

Of those,

Who love,

Me,

I want to belong,

Yet,

If,

I’m with,

A group,

Of friends,

I get,

Incredibly,

Anxious,

Of the others,

Watching,

Trying,

To see,

Through,

The blue-green,

Slime,

Around me,

There are,

Sub-types,

For,

This order,

I have,

But,

The list,

Itself,

Seems,

Endless,

Like the ones,

In my head,

That tells,

Me not,

To get to close,

To someone,

In case,

They hurt me,

Or abandon me,

The GP,

Said,

There is help,

Out there,

For me,

But it,

Will take several,

Steps,

For me,

To become,

A lot,

Less isolated,

Within,

The slime,

Walls,

There,

Are three,

Kinds,

Of therapy,

They suggested,

Which will be,

Ideal,

They are,

Social skills training,

Cognitive therapy,

And group therapy,

The first,

And last,

Will be the hardest,

I hope,

The therapist,

Is someone,

I can,

Trust,

I don’t want,

To be doomed,

Into the,

Blue-green slime,

Forever

Lime (Separation Anxiety)

I am seen,

As needy,

Clingy,

But,

I’m scared,

Of being,

Alone,

Away,

From my,

Comfort,

Of home,

From being,

Away,

From Mum,

And Dad,

The lime wraps,

Around me so tight,

I can’t breathe,

I panic,

I cry,

Or scream,

I just want,

To be at home,

I want,

Mum and Dad,

To come,

And break,

Me out,

Of the lime,

Cocoon,

They said,

As I get older,

I’ll get better,

I’ll grow out of it,

But,

I’m at school,

Now,

I don’t want,

Mum and Dad,

To go,

It’s too hard,

To say goodbye,

I have to go,

Into school,

Early,

So I don’t distress,

The other children,

I don’t mean to,

I didn’t choose this,

The lime,

Encapsulated,

Me first,

They say,

It might just be,

A phase,

A transition,

From nursery,

To school,

But at home,

I need,

Extra cuddles,

Before bed,

Incase the lime,

Decides to take over,

During the night,

I managed,

To complete school,

High school,

College,

I’m older,

But the lime,

Remains,

I had therapy,

At school,

It helped,

But now,

I’m working,

In a relationship,

The lime,

Seems more,

And more suffocating,

Each day,

I tried to expose myself,

To different situations,

Most ended in panic,

Attacks,

The best,

Thing,

That works,

Is medication,

But it’s,

Not foolproof,

The lime,

Still constricts me,

On a bad day,

Draining everything,

The good days,

I cherish,

Because,

I’m free,

From,

The lime prison

Crimson (Renfield Syndrome)

I was once,

A man,

Bright,

Intelligent,

Now,

I’m,

Locked,

Away,

For,

I am,

Insane,

Dr Seward,

My friend,

Doesn’t understand,

Blood,

Gives me life,

I eat the flies,

My master brings,

So,

I can be,

Strong,

So,

I can,

Escape,

This earthly,

Prison,

My master,

Tells,

In his crimson,

Mist,

To worship him,

Obey him,

And he will,

Send,

All,

The flies,

I can consume,

I obey,

For I love,

My master,

I love,

The taste,

The crunch,

Of those juicy,

Flies,

I learn,

The more flies,

I catch,

I can feed,

The spiders,

They can provide,

Me with,

A larger,

Source,

Of life,

Oh,

It’s exciting,

To experiment,

With one’s ideas,

For the blood is life,

My master,

Told me that,

I must consume,

It all,

Maybe,

I can ask,

My friend,

Dr Seward,

To bring me,

A bird,

To eat the spiders,

I’ve never eaten,

A bird,

I wonder,

If it will be juicy,

And fat,

My master,

Comes,

In the crimson,

Shade,

Speaks,

To me,

And says,

I’ve done,

Well,

Soon,

He might,

Grant me powers,

Like him,

I must,

Continue,

To please him,

And eat,

The flies,

Even,

If my lips,

Are stained,

With their,

Crimson blood

Red-Violet (Depresonalization Disorder)

My condition,

Is often,

Mistaken,

For,

Psychosis,

But,

It’s more,

Like,

Looking,

In a mirror,

And finding,

Emptiness,

The red-violet,

Shell,

Distorts,

Everything around me,

I feel,

Like,

My feelings,

Belong,

To someone else,

Yet,

They,

Exist in my body,

And mind,

I feel disconnected,

From those around me,

And even,

The world,

Around me,

I feel,

In a dream,

Like place,

Were time,

Keeps passing by,

But,

I’m not there,

In that moment,

I sometimes,

Get over anxious,

When,

The red-violet,

Shell,

Starts to break,

Revealing,

The cracks,

Underneath,

I feel,

Like,

I’m losing,

Control,

Of my mind,

And body,

I want,

To crawl,

Away,

And be alone,

So,

No-one,

Can watch,

Me suffer,

That’s when,

The depression,

Sets in,

So,

Strong,

And fierce,

I can’t escape it,

I managed,

To tear myself,

Away,

For a while,

From the red-violet,

Shell,

To go to the GP,

They said,

To try,

The medication,

First,

And if it doesn’t help,

Or makes things,

Worse,

I’ll be put on,

The waiting list,

For therapy,

I hope,

Both help,

So,

It will reduce,

The panic attacks,

And maybe,

Restore,

Me back,

To whatever,

I was before,

The red-violet,

Shell,

Became my,

Heaven,

And my Hell