Grey (Depression and Anxiety)

I wake up,

I find myself,

In the same grey,

Ominous,

Endless,

Fog,

That I don’t remember,

Being here,

When I was young,

By my side,

My loyal,

Companion,

The black dog,

He seems to understand,

My anxiety,

In this desolate,

Fog land,

We take a walk,

Slowly,

Hoping,

That maybe,

Today,

Might be the day,

I find an answer,

That maybe,

This fog will lift,

And I can finally,

Be free,

The fog itself,

Isn’t dense,

You can make,

Considerable,

Headway,

However,

There are dangers in this fog,

I jump,

Every time,

I see a shadow,

A figure,

Unknown,

The black dog,

Tries to comfort me,

Other times,

It snaps,

And growls at my heels,

Demanding me,

To walk further,

Occasionally,

It tries,

To drive,

The figures,

Away,

Protecting me,

I’m grateful,

But it doesn’t last,

Not forever,

Sometimes,

The fog,

Thickens,

I lose,

Sight of everything.

I can’t breathe,

I feel like I’m suffocating,

And when I try,

To call,

On my only companion,

My only friend,

In this place,

Of endless,

Torment,

He is not near,

He is gone,

He has been gobbled up,

By the figures,

Or ran,

Into the distance,

Never to return,

I fall down,

Chocking,

On my tears,

Cradling,

Myself,

As the figures,

Claw at my skin,

I cry,

Again,

And again,

Until finally,

I fall asleep,

Feeling the claw marks,

On my skin,

Yet,

When I wake again.

There is not a scratch upon me,

And the torment,

Starts anew

Black (Depression)

Without warning,

It comes,

Disguised,

As a dog,

First,

It befriends,

You,

It’s harmless,

What could,

A dog do to hurt anyone,

Next,

You go about,

You’re day to day,

Life,

The dog changes,

Colour,

Appearance,

Attitude,

It’s no longer,

The friendly dog from before,

It’s now,

A black wolf,

Howling,

Biting,

At every chance it gets,

It lingers,

In your shadows,

In dreams,

In the day,

Ready to pounce,

It causes you to feel,

Heavy,

Lonely,

Anxious,

Angry,

Worthless,

It causes you,

To shy away from friends,

Family,

And even loved ones,

It causes you,

To think,

Constantly about,

All the little things,

And big things,

Even worse,

It causes you,

To think about,

Throwing your life away,

You didn’t ask for this,

You wish for the wolf,

To go away,

For it to choose someone else,

To be elsewhere,

But it remains,

By your side,

Like a guardian angel,

Yet,

Why does it whisper,

In your ear,

Telling you not to sleep at night,

Why does it tell you,

That you don’t need to eat today,

Why does it drain you?

Of all you’re energy,

Why does it take so much?

And give so little in return,

The one day,

You seek help,

To manage to keep,

The beast at bay,

They give you pills,

But nothing changes,

The wolf,

Gets angry,

Hungry,

For more,

You try to come of the pills,

The wolf remains,

Ominous,

And black as before

Suffocate

Taking in a heavy breath,

I close my eyes,

To shield out,

The world around me,

I inhale deeper,

And deeper,

As I can’t control,

The feeling,

Of paranoia,

I feel,

A tightness around me,

Like someone,

Has put me into a straight jacket,

And pulled the strings too tight,

I can feel,

The darkness growing thicker,

Despite the fact,

My eyes are shut tightly,

I open them now,

And I still feel,

The grip,

Of paranoia,

Surrounding me,

Suffocating me,

I hear the lies,

In my head,

But I can’t ignore them,

I fall deeper and deeper,

Into a world,

Of oblivion,

I try to calm myself,

But the walls are closing in,

I try to think,

But the voices are too strong,

I’m drowning,

In my own thoughts,

And as I sink deeper,

Into the gloom,

And I wonder,

If I will escape…

Henry Hyde

English RP Throughout

“You should have took the cyanide Henry,” I say softly to my counterpart.

“Shut up, just shut up!” replied Henry.

It is always like this, Henry constantly shouting at me as I whisper in his mind, he can no longer set me free from this prison.

The prison in his head and the one we are now in.

We have been here for nearly a month and Henry seems to think that not ending his life, our lives that day was a smart choice.

What happened that day was Henry just gave himself up to the police as the barged through the door of the laboratory and demanded that I, Edward Hyde give myself up for my heinous crimes and go willingly.

I begged and pleaded with Henry as he sat starring at the potion in his hand, he simply laughed at me and said in a low voice; “there is no escape now,” I still don’t know what he meant but he went willingly with the police.

Now we are here, waiting for our death sentence. I am weak despite the fact that Henry is strong and I wonder if our places have switched, I wonder if I am him and he is me.

“Will you not speak with me?” I ask curiously.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Henry replied bitterly.

“This is not my fault, I didn’t bring us here, you did Henry,” I say honestly.

“You’re the one they are sentencing to death remember,” Henry said matter-of-factly

“But you will die to Henry, you will die as I die, I am a part of you as much as you are a part of me,” I say slowly losing my temper and patience.

“You will never be a part of me, not now, not ever,” Henry says angrily.

“Will you keep it down in there?” a voice from the corridor breaks the conversation.

“Know this Edward, when we die, you will be sent to Hell from your crimes and I will become a martyr,” Henry whispers and shuts me out.

He does this often, blocks out my thoughts and my opinions, he is becoming less and less like the man I used to admire for his cunning and his wit, he is becoming something that I fear and loathe, he is becoming the Edward Hyde that I once was.

I don’t know who I am or what I am meant to be but if Henry keeps shutting me out the way he is, I will not be able to stop, I grow weaker and weaker each day, maybe I should have took control of his, our body and took the cyanide, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe I should have took action but I was powerless to sway him and his course.

Now, we must wait for the final judgement.

Several months later

“Henry… Henry,” I say weakly.

“What do you want?” Henry replies distantly.

“Please, I am begging you, do not go through with this, this is madness, please,” I say pleadingly.

“If that is all you want to say then…” Henry begins but I cut him short.

“No, you will not shut me out, I will not die here inside you quietly, while I still have breathe left within me, you will listen,” I say sharply.

“Fine, go ahead,” Henry answers back like he has nothing to lose.

“I beg you to plead innocent to my crimes, you will not be punished severally, if you will let me, I can transform and I will admit that I was wrong but you had no part in it, Henry please…” I say with conviction but I am cut off.

“It’s time,” a young police officer says.

“Henry, please, Henry… HENRY!” and with those last words I fall into the darkness as Henry blocks me out for probably the last time.

I don’t remember much of the trail as I felt a numbness in my bones, I felt like I was floating towards some dark oblivion, I remember someone asking if they were speaking to Henry or Hyde.

It was his answer then that woke me, “I was Henry Jekyll but I am not the same, Hyde is within me or I should say Jekyll,”

“Speak sense man,” the judge decreed.

“I am Henry Hyde, Jekyll is dead, buried within my mind, I am Hyde,” Henry answered.

I soon blacked out again and I knew that he had sentenced us both to unpleasant death, I was already dying or decaying and now Henry would lose his reputation for being a scientist and now it seemed it he had finally lost himself to the madness of his own twisted mind.

After the trail, I woke up sweaty and on the verge of breaking down, I wanted to try and get him to listen to me one last time but to him I was already dead.

The next thing I knew was Henry was being prepared for the gallows for my crimes, I realised then that he must have admitted to them after his outrageous claim, I realised that Henry wanted the world to see what madmen could do. I pitied him and I hated him.

We walked to an open space where a crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle, there had been hanging’s earlier judging by the amount of dead bodies that they had thrown to the side.

I felt uneasy, numb and I wanted to run far away but Henry kept me locked away in this black prison of his mind.

With the noose around our neck, our heart in our throats, I tried to speak but the word were dry upon my tongue, Henry was unstoppable now.

“Any last words gent’s?” the executioner asked flatly.

“I AM HENRY HYDE!” were the words that came from our lips before the world went black and we were no more.

On another note; I really need to get back to writing some more light stuff. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2,567 page views and this blog has reached 11,337 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for continuing to visit both blogs.

The Tree

There is a tree,

That stands tall,

Like all the others,

But this tree,

Stands alone,

In the ground,

Surrounded by paving bricks,

This tree,

Has grown,

And it has seen,

Many seasons,

I have watched,

The leaves,

Turn into golden browns,

And bright green’s,

And little bud’s too,

In the winter the tree,

Is bare,

But soon,

The cycle returns,

For many years,

I have looked upon this tree,

I have watched the birds,

Making their home there,

I watched the tree,

Sway in the harshest winds,

Without really knowing why,

Now,

As I look at this tree,

I realise,

That soon,

I will depart from,

My family home,

Into another place,

A place,

Where I can start my own family,

I realise,

I might miss,

This old,

Tree,

That stands,

In the ground,

I realise,

That there are no other trees,

Like this tree,

But I can’t take it with me,

Where I am going,

There are lots of trees,

Standing in the soil,

Just down the road,

From where I will live,

I realise,

That this tree,

That I have watched,

Countless times,

Will not miss me,

I realise,

That when it’s time to leave,

I might say goodbye,

And leave it,

To be watched by another

Letting go

It sounds easy,

Doesn’t it,

To have the ability,

To let go,

Of everything,

That is bothering you,

To bury,

The past and move on,

But what if each day,

You are reminded,

That there is no escape,

From being unemployed,

There is no escape,

From the reminder,

That you’re nothing,

But a number,

What if,

Each day,

You try to move on,

From the past,

But,

Something,

Triggers the memories,

Deep inside,

And you find that,

Your only escape route,

Will be presented,

On the day you are wed,

What if you’ve tried every option,

And you still,

Can’t let go,

It might seem,

Like there is no hope,

Of getting rid of those dark thoughts,

But there is a way,

You just have to believe,

In yourself,

And what you are capable of,

Remind yourself,

Each day,

How far you have come,

The past can’t stop you,

From moving forward,

It’s yourself,

The road is not easy,

But somehow,

Someday,

We all have to let go,

Of the things that are dragging us down,

And my day will come,

When I am no longer reminded,

That I am piece of dirt,

Because I am unemployed,

One day,

I will stand,

And face my past,

Because I don’t fear it,

One day,

I will let go,

Of those things,

It will take time,

But,

In the end,

I will be stronger,

And I know,

That I will win,

The war between,

Them and me,

And I know,

That they might not be able,

To let me go,

Into the sunrise,

And enjoy life,

But I will release them,

Into the sky,

Like a balloon,

Because,

It is time,

To let them go.

On another note; my old blog has reached 2,500 page views and this blog has reached 10,656 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.