Black (Depression)

Without warning,

It comes,

Disguised,

As a dog,

First,

It befriends,

You,

It’s harmless,

What could,

A dog do to hurt anyone,

Next,

You go about,

You’re day to day,

Life,

The dog changes,

Colour,

Appearance,

Attitude,

It’s no longer,

The friendly dog from before,

It’s now,

A black wolf,

Howling,

Biting,

At every chance it gets,

It lingers,

In your shadows,

In dreams,

In the day,

Ready to pounce,

It causes you to feel,

Heavy,

Lonely,

Anxious,

Angry,

Worthless,

It causes you,

To shy away from friends,

Family,

And even loved ones,

It causes you,

To think,

Constantly about,

All the little things,

And big things,

Even worse,

It causes you,

To think about,

Throwing your life away,

You didn’t ask for this,

You wish for the wolf,

To go away,

For it to choose someone else,

To be elsewhere,

But it remains,

By your side,

Like a guardian angel,

Yet,

Why does it whisper,

In your ear,

Telling you not to sleep at night,

Why does it tell you,

That you don’t need to eat today,

Why does it drain you?

Of all you’re energy,

Why does it take so much?

And give so little in return,

The one day,

You seek help,

To manage to keep,

The beast at bay,

They give you pills,

But nothing changes,

The wolf,

Gets angry,

Hungry,

For more,

You try to come of the pills,

The wolf remains,

Ominous,

And black as before

Suffocate

Taking in a heavy breath,

I close my eyes,

To shield out,

The world around me,

I inhale deeper,

And deeper,

As I can’t control,

The feeling,

Of paranoia,

I feel,

A tightness around me,

Like someone,

Has put me into a straight jacket,

And pulled the strings too tight,

I can feel,

The darkness growing thicker,

Despite the fact,

My eyes are shut tightly,

I open them now,

And I still feel,

The grip,

Of paranoia,

Surrounding me,

Suffocating me,

I hear the lies,

In my head,

But I can’t ignore them,

I fall deeper and deeper,

Into a world,

Of oblivion,

I try to calm myself,

But the walls are closing in,

I try to think,

But the voices are too strong,

I’m drowning,

In my own thoughts,

And as I sink deeper,

Into the gloom,

And I wonder,

If I will escape…

Henry Hyde

English RP Throughout

“You should have took the cyanide Henry,” I say softly to my counterpart.

“Shut up, just shut up!” replied Henry.

It is always like this, Henry constantly shouting at me as I whisper in his mind, he can no longer set me free from this prison.

The prison in his head and the one we are now in.

We have been here for nearly a month and Henry seems to think that not ending his life, our lives that day was a smart choice.

What happened that day was Henry just gave himself up to the police as the barged through the door of the laboratory and demanded that I, Edward Hyde give myself up for my heinous crimes and go willingly.

I begged and pleaded with Henry as he sat starring at the potion in his hand, he simply laughed at me and said in a low voice; “there is no escape now,” I still don’t know what he meant but he went willingly with the police.

Now we are here, waiting for our death sentence. I am weak despite the fact that Henry is strong and I wonder if our places have switched, I wonder if I am him and he is me.

“Will you not speak with me?” I ask curiously.

“I have nothing to say to you,” Henry replied bitterly.

“This is not my fault, I didn’t bring us here, you did Henry,” I say honestly.

“You’re the one they are sentencing to death remember,” Henry said matter-of-factly

“But you will die to Henry, you will die as I die, I am a part of you as much as you are a part of me,” I say slowly losing my temper and patience.

“You will never be a part of me, not now, not ever,” Henry says angrily.

“Will you keep it down in there?” a voice from the corridor breaks the conversation.

“Know this Edward, when we die, you will be sent to Hell from your crimes and I will become a martyr,” Henry whispers and shuts me out.

He does this often, blocks out my thoughts and my opinions, he is becoming less and less like the man I used to admire for his cunning and his wit, he is becoming something that I fear and loathe, he is becoming the Edward Hyde that I once was.

I don’t know who I am or what I am meant to be but if Henry keeps shutting me out the way he is, I will not be able to stop, I grow weaker and weaker each day, maybe I should have took control of his, our body and took the cyanide, maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe I should have took action but I was powerless to sway him and his course.

Now, we must wait for the final judgement.

Several months later

“Henry… Henry,” I say weakly.

“What do you want?” Henry replies distantly.

“Please, I am begging you, do not go through with this, this is madness, please,” I say pleadingly.

“If that is all you want to say then…” Henry begins but I cut him short.

“No, you will not shut me out, I will not die here inside you quietly, while I still have breathe left within me, you will listen,” I say sharply.

“Fine, go ahead,” Henry answers back like he has nothing to lose.

“I beg you to plead innocent to my crimes, you will not be punished severally, if you will let me, I can transform and I will admit that I was wrong but you had no part in it, Henry please…” I say with conviction but I am cut off.

“It’s time,” a young police officer says.

“Henry, please, Henry… HENRY!” and with those last words I fall into the darkness as Henry blocks me out for probably the last time.

I don’t remember much of the trail as I felt a numbness in my bones, I felt like I was floating towards some dark oblivion, I remember someone asking if they were speaking to Henry or Hyde.

It was his answer then that woke me, “I was Henry Jekyll but I am not the same, Hyde is within me or I should say Jekyll,”

“Speak sense man,” the judge decreed.

“I am Henry Hyde, Jekyll is dead, buried within my mind, I am Hyde,” Henry answered.

I soon blacked out again and I knew that he had sentenced us both to unpleasant death, I was already dying or decaying and now Henry would lose his reputation for being a scientist and now it seemed it he had finally lost himself to the madness of his own twisted mind.

After the trail, I woke up sweaty and on the verge of breaking down, I wanted to try and get him to listen to me one last time but to him I was already dead.

The next thing I knew was Henry was being prepared for the gallows for my crimes, I realised then that he must have admitted to them after his outrageous claim, I realised that Henry wanted the world to see what madmen could do. I pitied him and I hated him.

We walked to an open space where a crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle, there had been hanging’s earlier judging by the amount of dead bodies that they had thrown to the side.

I felt uneasy, numb and I wanted to run far away but Henry kept me locked away in this black prison of his mind.

With the noose around our neck, our heart in our throats, I tried to speak but the word were dry upon my tongue, Henry was unstoppable now.

“Any last words gent’s?” the executioner asked flatly.

“I AM HENRY HYDE!” were the words that came from our lips before the world went black and we were no more.

On another note; I really need to get back to writing some more light stuff. On a different note; my old blog has reached 2,567 page views and this blog has reached 11,337 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people out there for continuing to visit both blogs.

The Devil’s Eye

A lone figure sat upon the park bench watching the crowds of human’s go by in a blur of action but he was completely invisible to them.

Even the people who now beside him had no idea that he was there and even if he coughed or moved in the slightest way, they still wouldn’t notice him.

“I suppose this my punishment for disobeying the big guy but I really don’t understand these clay-like forms he has created”, the man muttered to himself.

The man then began to think about how he, Lucifer, had to watch these human’s as the big man hadn’t really given him any sound advice before he was cast out.

Just then a shooting pain developed in his eyes and he shut them rapidly to make the pain go away but instantly reopened them and his vision had changed.

He could see the human’s pass him in a sea of red but he could also see their names and that was all because the vision soon passed and everything returned back to normal.

“Well, that was different,” Lucifer said to himself before continuing, “What am I supposed to do with these human’s names? I have no powers remember”.

Lucifer then walked away from the park, reminding himself that he had only been in the mortal realm for a week and this was the first time this vision had come.

‘Am I getting stronger?’ he wondered silently, ‘Am I getting my powers back on my own?’ He couldn’t be sure about that but he soon vanished into the distance and returned back to his new realm.

The next day, he was urged by some mysterious force back to the park again to watch the human’s pass, he had been here since the early hours of dawn trying to get the vision to come back without success.

He then tired a different tactic, he remembered from yesterday that his last thought was about being cast out, focusing on that he cast his mind back to that day.

Soon the pain in his eyes returned but this time he didn’t fit it instead he focused on the intense pain and opened his eyes slowly to adjust to the different view.

The same red vision appeared but this time he could see the human’s sins, Lucifer gasped as some sins were highlighted in bold to indicate that was their most dominant sin.

He studied one in particular, his name was Paul Summer’s, he guessed that he was in his early thirties and he noticed that his sins were floating around in mid-air.

Lust, Greed and Envy were all there but what caught his eye was the bold Wrath which hung close to him like a fly drawn to food. This was curious to him as the man didn’t seem the type to get angry but maybe his jealously was fuelling the wrath.

“So, this is what you want me to do, find the sinners of your creation and give them a loving home, I think I can do that”, Lucifer said as he blinked to get rid of the vision which he had now named ‘The Devil’s Eye’ and he set of towards Hell.

Over the next few days and weeks Lucifer wrote people’s names into a black notepad which had been sent down to him due to his new position.

Over that time, he had gained the ability to appear to the sinner’s and he sent them to Hell but no-one else took notice of him. He also noticed some sinner’s names were brown which meant they were somewhere in-between Heaven and Hell, one these occasion’s he asked what he must do and depending on the person’s redemption or sinning, they could be cast either way.

However, there was one small draw back, he could only take so many sinner’s otherwise the balance would be in his favour and the big guy upstairs didn’t want that and so decided to make up for the loss by creating more humans.

Today he was approaching his limit of sinners which in his eyes was a nice round number of ten and he needed one more to complete the set.

Scanning the crowd with ‘the Devil’s eye’, he saw a numerous amount of sinner’s for the picking but he then noticed someone strange.

Despite the sea of red, this woman had a light blue aura and he could only read her name if he squinted his eyes a little.

‘A pure human’, he wondered, ‘I didn’t think there was any but is she an angel? Does she have the same ability as me?’

Suddenly, pain went through his eyes and he shut them instantaneously but as he struggled against this wave of pain, he could hear a booming voice inside his head telling him; “YOU SHALL NOT HARM THE INNOCENT!”

When he reopened his eyes a view moments later, his vision was back to normal and he wondered what the voice meant by innocent, it was clear from his point of view that none of these humans were innocent, he felt strangely tired after that surge of pain.

So, with the last amount of effort he had left, he returned to his vision of red to write down the last name that he needed and went back to Hell to mull over a plan.

“YOU SHALL NOT HARM THE INNOCENT!” that voice continued to haunt Lucifer as he punished the sinners and looked for more.

The problem was that every time he was looking for the sinners, he kept seeing the innocent woman and he couldn’t stop wondering if the man upstairs had a special plan for her and just left the rest to rot.

Time passed quickly in the mortal realm as Lucifer continued to do his job of tending to the sinners and making Hell more comfortable for them.

Weeks turned into months and months turned into years and he still kept on seeing her until one day, something changed.

Upon the park bench, gazing through the vision of red which he had grown accustomed to by now and he was writing the sinners names without enjoyment and once more he saw her but she appeared to be different.

The light blue aura continued to flux and was becoming brown, this is what Lucifer had come to call Limbo.

He had seen it once before when one of his sinners were taken to Heaven because during his time in Hell, he had repented and the same, it seemed happened in Heaven as a human who Lucifer gave to them had sinned and was sent to him for safe keeping.

Now, as he looked at her, he wondered what to do, “Do I take her to my realm or does she belong to you?” Lucifer asked aloud.

The minutes ticked by as Lucifer waited for a reply and finally a voice answered; “Do what you like, she is a traitor like you… I’ve no interest in her now”.

Suddenly, the brown turned into red like the others and he could see that her name was Lilith but there was no second name.

He had heard that Lilith was made to protect these humans but he gathered that she must have got cast out after everyone had declared that he was dead, he then added her name to the list and he would save her till last.

Today, Lucifer wasn’t at his usual spot in the park, today he was waiting for Lilith to meet him in a side street he had managed to find and he didn’t have to wait long.

Lilith walked towards him looking more beautiful than he remembered and he realised that Lilith would be a great asset to him, if she decided she was going to join him in Hell.

“I thought you were dead”, Lilith said as she stopped a few paces away from where Lucifer stood.

“Everyone thought that Lil but I’ve been here all this time”, Lucifer answered hoping that she didn’t mind the abbreviation of her name.

“I gather, you know why I am here”, Lucifer said hesitantly.

“Well, I don’t think Heaven will let me back in so yes, I know why you are here but I want to make a proposition”, Lilith answered calmly.

Lucifer paused for a moment; he was going to make his own proposition to her but he decided to let it slide and wondered what she had to offer, so he said; “What kind of proposition?”

“Saying only one person knows you’re here and the rest think your dead, I will lay claim to Hell as it’s queen and rightful ruler in your stead, I will take you role of finding sinners and casting them into Hell and I will rule with you but if I am to be queen, then I need your powers”, Lilith answered honestly wondering what Lucifer’s reaction would be.

Lucifer stood for a moment contemplating the offer, it made sense to keep up the pretence that he dead and for someone to take over his role but the question was, was he willing to give her all of his powers so that he could keep his house in order?

“I will agree, on one condition”, Lucifer answered.

“Might I ask, what is this one condition is?” Lilith replied, unsure of what Lucifer was now thinking.

Lucifer then walked towards her though he could see that she was afraid of the power that he possessed, he stopped when his head was touching hers and gazed directly into her eyes.

“I want you to be mine and mine alone”, Lucifer replied softly and kissed Lilith on the lips, and he was surprised that she didn’t push him away, instead she returned his kiss.

After they broke the kiss, Lucifer said, “Come my queen, we have a domain to run” and they walked towards Hell, hand in hand.

On another note; my old blog has reached 2,516 page views and this blog has reached 10,811 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for all continuing to visit both blogs.

The Tree

There is a tree,

That stands tall,

Like all the others,

But this tree,

Stands alone,

In the ground,

Surrounded by paving bricks,

This tree,

Has grown,

And it has seen,

Many seasons,

I have watched,

The leaves,

Turn into golden browns,

And bright green’s,

And little bud’s too,

In the winter the tree,

Is bare,

But soon,

The cycle returns,

For many years,

I have looked upon this tree,

I have watched the birds,

Making their home there,

I watched the tree,

Sway in the harshest winds,

Without really knowing why,

Now,

As I look at this tree,

I realise,

That soon,

I will depart from,

My family home,

Into another place,

A place,

Where I can start my own family,

I realise,

I might miss,

This old,

Tree,

That stands,

In the ground,

I realise,

That there are no other trees,

Like this tree,

But I can’t take it with me,

Where I am going,

There are lots of trees,

Standing in the soil,

Just down the road,

From where I will live,

I realise,

That this tree,

That I have watched,

Countless times,

Will not miss me,

I realise,

That when it’s time to leave,

I might say goodbye,

And leave it,

To be watched by another

Letting go

It sounds easy,

Doesn’t it,

To have the ability,

To let go,

Of everything,

That is bothering you,

To bury,

The past and move on,

But what if each day,

You are reminded,

That there is no escape,

From being unemployed,

There is no escape,

From the reminder,

That you’re nothing,

But a number,

What if,

Each day,

You try to move on,

From the past,

But,

Something,

Triggers the memories,

Deep inside,

And you find that,

Your only escape route,

Will be presented,

On the day you are wed,

What if you’ve tried every option,

And you still,

Can’t let go,

It might seem,

Like there is no hope,

Of getting rid of those dark thoughts,

But there is a way,

You just have to believe,

In yourself,

And what you are capable of,

Remind yourself,

Each day,

How far you have come,

The past can’t stop you,

From moving forward,

It’s yourself,

The road is not easy,

But somehow,

Someday,

We all have to let go,

Of the things that are dragging us down,

And my day will come,

When I am no longer reminded,

That I am piece of dirt,

Because I am unemployed,

One day,

I will stand,

And face my past,

Because I don’t fear it,

One day,

I will let go,

Of those things,

It will take time,

But,

In the end,

I will be stronger,

And I know,

That I will win,

The war between,

Them and me,

And I know,

That they might not be able,

To let me go,

Into the sunrise,

And enjoy life,

But I will release them,

Into the sky,

Like a balloon,

Because,

It is time,

To let them go.

On another note; my old blog has reached 2,500 page views and this blog has reached 10,656 page views. Once again a big thank you to all you nice people for visiting both blogs.